Who are you?
by Who really Knows
Summary: There are simple questions that we answer everyday, questions that I always thought I knew the answer to...but how could I answer those questions when I had missed the very first and most important one, "Who are you?" I suck at summaries.
1. Chapter 1

The universe is the hunting grounds of life. What is there to be learned in a world that already says it knows so much? But then again there is always the question of "what do we really know and what do we just hope we know?" , simple questions with clouded answers.

But all answers have clouds looming, shading details that we ought to know and making us believe that we see everything even when every fiber in our being tells us this is not so. We ignore it, this feeling, because it is much safer to know what lurks in the dark isn't it?

And we can all handle being safe.

That's exactly the way I was when I answered the question. A simple question, a question so simple we answer it every day.

"Who are you?"

The world is a heavy place, or maybe it's just the feel of my eyelids closing slowly as if trying to force me to go back to sleep. Don't my eyelids realize that I'm already fully dressed and locking the front door to my apartment? How annoying.

Speaking of annoying, today I should take….route #7…..yeah, I haven't used that one in a while, it should do. I wish all girls would give up already, but Ino and Sakura are annoyingly persistent. When are they going to realize that there is just nothing they can do to impress me? I have more important things to focus on, like rebuilding my families company.

Uchiha will one day have a name in this world again, but in the meantime it's currently going bankrupt being barely held together until I can take over the corporation at the dawning of graduation from a more than excellent college. I do have enough money from inheritance to last me my entire life time but that will do me no good without a name. I refuse to be some has-been rich and powerful guy, I will have a name.

So I rent out a nice comfortable apartment, not to pricey but decent, in order to save my money for the best degree it can buy me.

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, thinking about the future can make me tense up with thoughts of the past as well. Old memories of mansions and parties that I would peak in on from the well-polished banisters of the staircase always come flooding into my mind.

What was then will never be now.

Turning the corner, I hastily looked in all directions for pink or blonde hair, and when I found no trace I bolted across the street hoping to make it to my classroom with no interruptions. My feet pumped me forward, and my bag pounced heavily on my back, reminding me of all those folders I conveniently keep forgetting to clean out. My eyes tore every direction, making sure it wasn't a trick and my palms were moist as I pulled open the front doors to the school and headed for my class in a fast paced walk.

That stupid teacher better not have forgotten anything, if I have to wait outside in the hall I'll die.

When I reached the classroom the lights were shut off and it looked completely locked, but my instincts told me better. Kakashi doesn't bother with locking anymore, as it would only alert the principle of his constant tardiness and our daily lessons are also written on the board for us to at least start until his arrival so that if she comes by it just looks like he stepped out for a bathroom break or something. He teaches English, so reading assignments are normal for this.

None the less I will admit, Kakashi is a good teacher when he wants to be.

I opened the door, flipped the switch and promptly took a seat in the very back of the class. No one has an excuse to bother me here, and by no one I mean Ino and Sakura. Everyone else stares from afar, which is way less annoying than up close and personal.

The door bangs open and I hear a voice say, "Geez Kiba, don't break the door." Oh, great.

And before I can narrate further on my thoughts, Kiba Inuzuka walks in. Kiba has brown hair and eyes, with slightly tan skin, and his height if 5'6 (something that irritates me, because he's only an inch taller than I am). He's really stupid, and really loud in everything he does.

Behind Kiba, follows the bored looking Shikamaru Nara. Shikamaru has his dark brown hair pulled back in a ponytail and brown eyes searching the classroom for the one seat he can sleep in without being nagged. He also happens to be an inch taller, something that I still…dislike…

Speaking of height, in walks Choji…..well I forgot his last name but it's not important (*authors note: I do know his last name, but consider me a Shikamaru personality…..it was just really troublesome with the description ok? We all know right?) he's two inches taller than me, making him 5'7. (*yeah, yeah, another authors note, I know it's annoying but this is it I swear. Keep in mind that they are all Japanese characters, and this is tall there, and I got these heights from some stupid website because I thought it would be a good way to put a dent in sasuke's ego, further expanding on his personalities need to be better than everyone else in every way.)

I don't even bother looking at his face, I never really have, because in strides Naruto Uzumaki. I hate him, because he is always challenging me, as if he has some sort of right to. He's my foil. My complete opposite, with bright blonde hair and deep light blue eyes starring on at my raven –like features; his hair was the sun, and his eyes were a cool blue pond reflecting its light into the dark and shaded world of my features. His skin was sun-kissed tan, and well…the sun didn't like to kiss me, and the feeling is mutual, so of course I was pale in comparison. But I was taller than him by an inch, and an inch is all it takes.

I win.

Besides, he's just really annoying and stupid…..even his friends think so. That makes him nothing but dead-last, in everything.

Kakashi was only 10 minutes late today, which was unusual but I was grateful. Naruto had chosen a seat directly next time mine, and spent most of his time glaring at me and maybe talking, but who knows I wasn't listening? Kakashi shut him up with detention for me.

After my somewhat peaceful first period I went to second period math, which was Ino and Sakura filled, along with the rest of the first half of my day.

Hurray.

Then after talking to me about a bunch of crap and man-handling me the whole period they will stalk me to lunch. Sometimes I do something like give one of them a sandwich and ignore the other, so that they start fighting and I can run away and hide.

Today this was exactly my tactic, I handed Sakura a bag of Cheetos, and she noted to Ino with pride that it was the second time this week I had given her something instead of Ino. Something Ino didn't take kindly, and before you knew it they were on each other, fighting like mad animals.

I managed to get away, hurrying along the empty hallway looking behind me constantly to make sure they weren't on my tail.

That's when something hit me, literally, and would have sent me on the floor if I didn't catch myself using nearby locker door edges. As I held my hand to ease the pain from hitting the combination dial, I looked down at the floor to see Naruto himself glaring up at me, rubbing the back of his head.

"Watch where you are going dumbass." I glared, how typical was this? Running into the last person I wanted to see, just what I needed on a bad day.

"I am not a dumbass! You're the dumbass because….." He seemed to pause slightly and I took full adavantage of this weakness.

"Because I get better grades, I get more girls, I have more things, I'm taller, and I'm probably much bigger in other areas as well?" I glared, glancing at his crotch to prove my point. Naruto's face flashed a bright red, as he pulled his shirt lower and stood wordlessly leaving in the other direction.

That was weird.

It was a thought that only lasted me 5 seconds before I walked away to finish eating in my next class. The entire rest of my day went by without anything out of place, and I went home Sakura and Ino free.

That was weird to, but I let it go. Afterall…..Sakura and Ino weren't there.

Can you blame me?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everybody! Plz review, even if you dont like it and let me know why. If I am going to improve I need to know what to work on so the next chapter can be good. Also I apologize for any weirdness, i wrote this at 1 in the morning. But from now on I will try to not write these chapters while on the verge of passing out.**

Chapter Two: The Things We Think We Know

In the world there are things that are always certain; your coffee will be there in the morning, you're going to trip down the same step that you do every day, and you're going to talk to the lady at the front desk of your office whose name you haven't bothered to learn for some unknown reason.

Are these things really certain? What in the world really is?

Things can happen all the time, but we are content living in complete denial that anything other than what we are used to can happen and when they do happen, well…we are just having a bad day right?

And it's these things that we expect, like for your coffee machine to always work and that lady at the front desk to be there, that is what really hurts us in the end when we realize.

Nothing is ever certain.

* * *

><p>My keys jingled as I turned the lock, I pulled out the key slowly and yawned into the morning air. Today was route #27, so I had to get up earlier than usual. Ino and Sakura have figured out routes #8 and #9, so I can't use them for a while, which is a real shame because I like to keep the numbers below 10 , it means I have to walk a shorter distance.<p>

I would drive, but I live basically down the street from the school and it would be a waste. Besides I can't have my car be targeted as an identifier to me. Then they would look for it everywhere and where would I be?

Trapped.

Everything about this trip seemed normal, of course I've only used this route once or twice, but still who would have ever expected for me to be walking behind this guy?

Naruto Uzumaki.

I picked up the pace, trying to bypass him, but something in me wanted to do more than that. Probably because I was way less than satisfied with the way things turned out the other day, which wasn't normal, normally he would go on and on about how much of a jerk I was or whatever.

But that didn't happen and like I said my annoyance just wasn't satisfied.

So I purposefully bumped into him. I smirked, as I felt an icy stare piercing my back. Today I won't be ignored and that much is for sure. I felt hands going for my shoulder, and before they made contact I dodged them and turned to face my product of annoyance.

"Why did you do that?" my smirk disappeared, maybe it was because he wasn't yelling like usual, his voice had a calm tone and for a second, a second, it scared me a little. Or maybe it was just his eyes, they looked red around the edges, and his hands…his hands were trembling a little as I let them grip my shirt.

I didn't say anything I just stared, with my hands down my side watching Naruto's eyes search me. What were they searching for?

Suddenly, he released me and began walking away, but I followed closely. I'm more than annoyed, I'm confused and more than anything…well I don't really know the word for what it was. But there was something rushing in my blood, making me breathe quicker, faster. It was a feeling that pulled at my gut, and I just had to solve "it", I had to make everything normal.

It was driving me crazy.

I followed him all the way to class without saying a word, and he didn't do anything either. We both somehow came to the conclusion that we weren't going to interact for the rest of the day, and sat on completely opposite sides of the room.

Why was he acting this way? Not that I really minded, but still…..something is wrong right?

These thoughts repeated in my head and I started to have an inner fight when Kakashi walked in 30 minutes late and then for some reason the day resumes its normal pace. Except I'm not normal anymore, I don't even bother to try escaping from Sakura and Ino. All of my energy and thoughts are focused on one thing.

Naruto Uzumaki.

The next day my mind is still buzzing, and despite the little sleep I managed to get I didn't feel an ounce of tiredness within my body. Today I will take route # 27 once again, and live in harmony and peace for a while longer, at least from crazy girls.

If I can get Naruto again, maybe on a more peaceful setting, I can get an answer out of him. Maybe, but its Naruto, he'll probably break easily.

The entire walk is quiet, with no blonde to be seen anywhere.

I even linger, debating with myself if I was just too early, but the truth was if anything I was right on time from yesterday.

That's when I realized, today is Saturday.

I, Sasuke Uchiha, had completely forgotten the day. Groaning, I turned back to walk home, maybe now I can clean out my school folders. Clean the kitchen….or….or I could take a trip to the place called Juogo. Don't ask me why the place is called that, it just is, even if it's a little…well…completely stupid. The Juogo is a somewhat popular gaming and restaurant place, I went in there once to escape Sakura who had cornered me at the grocery store and saw Naruto and his friends eating and hanging out at one of the tables. Apparently they go there often on the weekends, because Naruto and his friends sometimes are wearing things with the Juogo logo on them that you have to win using points or whatever from games.

It's worth a shot.

With that thought I speed up my pace, breaking out into a run. It's about 7 in the morning that gives me enough time to clean up the kitchen and my folders before noon, and then I can make my way to the Juogo, which opens at 1pm, and wait around for Naruto or at least talk to people and find out where he could possibly be.

Cleaning out the folders didn't take long, but cleaning the kitchen took some time. There were dishes, then re-arranging my fridge to clean out disgusting things, cleaning the counters, cleaning the stove and oven, sweeping and mopping the floors, cleaning my toaster, and just some small other things to do. When I finished cleaning it was around 10, and I was sweating like crazy.

I took a shower, cranked up the AC, and then left to start my walk to the Juogo. What the heck is Juogo anyway, does it even have any meaning to it other than pure randomness?

I had to wait outside for about 10 minutes before the place finally opened, I picked a spot where I could easily see the door, ordered some food and a drink, and then started my wait for Naruto and his friends.

And waited, and waited, and waited, until it was 1:30 and they were walking through the door. They were all laughing, heading for a table just one over from mine. For that one second I thought about how I was acting completely stupid.

Naruto wasn't going to talk to me about anything, and why would he? We aren't friends, if anything he hates me the most in the world, and it's sort of the same way for me. So what am I doing here? Trying to look like an idiot that's what I'm doing.

Reaching for my wallet, I got up from the table, and just as my hands felt the soft paper I heard my name in the location of Naruto and his friends. I looked over and they were all looking at me, Naruto glared, I glared back.

"hmp." I turned my head away; see what the hell was I thinking? This whole idea was stupid and crazy, why didn't I realize that sooner?

I wanted to leave peacefully but it wasn't long before Naruto had grabbed the side of my arms, swinging a fist toward my face. I dodged, stepping back a bit, garbing one of his clenched fists and glaring, "What the hell?"

I didn't even do anything this time, if anything it could have been left alone and I could have left. But no, now we have to have a fist fight and I really didn't feel like being arrested for fighting in public.

"And now if you'll look over here." I heard a familiar voice say, Naruto and I both turned our heads around only to see a mass of white hair, we heard the sound of clacking metal and something closed around my wrist. I looked down to see that we had been handcuffed together.

"Kakashi!" I said, but he glared over at me, I bit my lip with frustration. Kakashi then turned his attention to a small crowd watching us.

"I am going to release these two boys without using keys." And to my horror he ate the keys right before our eyes, now I know that he has to have some spare keys somewhere, or even has some sort of trick of getting them back. Right?

Kakashi pulled and messed with the handcuffs, Naruto remained strangely silent. He had a look in his eyes while staring at the cuffs that bonded us that made me shudder. Kakashi turned back to the crowd rubbing the back of his head, "Oh well, it seems that I am wrong."

The crowd groaned and walked their separate directions, "Kakashi, what are you doing?"

"A magic trick." Kakashi said matter-of-factly, "I may be your teacher but I also own this place you know Sasuke?"

No I didn't know, but I wasn't going to admit that. "Whatever, how are you going to get us out of this? I can't go home with him!"

"Well…" said Kakashi, inspecting the handcuffs, "I have another key in my classroom, I keep it in my desk drawer, but I can't go to the school till Monday."

"Ugh!" I groaned, shaking the cuffs, "Can't I just break it off?"

I instantly regretted those words as Kakashi glared over at me, "Don't you dare break these handcuffs, they are extremely rare and important to me. Neither of you have a family to worry about so I just suggest you both put up with it till Monday. Understand?"

"I understand." I gulped, as he smiled at me, Naruto was still wordless. Wouldn't that kid be all over Kakashi by now?

"Good." He said, patting both me and Naruto on the back, "See you boys Monday."

As he walked off Naruto's friends gathered around us, but they were really only focused on Naruto. "That really sucks and you were supposed to come over today?" groaned Kiba.

"Are you going to be okay?" asked Choji, Shikamaru nodded beside him, then I noticed a guy named Shino who I don't have any classes with, but he's hard to miss being the tallest. Everyone seemed extremely concerned and sympathetic that Naruto would have to spend two days with me. It pissed me off.

"I'll be fine you guys." Naruto said, glaring up at me. "I can handle myself."

What am I? The devil?

"I'm leaving now." I stated, and just started walking off ignoring the weight I was dragging behind me. Naruto was trying to grab my arms, but I shook him off and kept walking toward my house. After a few tugs, and even some dragging Naruto decided to comply with me without putting up a fight.

How are we going to do this?

There are tons of things we have to do, stuff we do every day like eating, using the bathroom, taking showers. Well I'm not entirely sure that Naruto does the last one every day, but it doesn't matter because I do so that still makes it extremely awkward.

On the other hand, maybe this weirdness is an opportunity to get things back to normal, or at least to the way they were.

I opened my apartment in silence stepping into the cool air, I love air-conditioning. "Do you always keep your house so cold? What are you some sort of penguin?" Naruto asked.

"I like it." I said motioning for us to sit on the couch,"And why a penguin?"

"I don't know! You sort of look like one." I did not see any resemblance to a penguin when I looked in the mirror every day, so either Naruto is crazy or stupid or both. I'm going with both.

"Hmph." I scuffed, "Well we have more important things to talk about right now, like surviving till Monday."

Naruto's eyes widened and it was almost as if for the last minute his eyes had forgotten their job of glaring holes into my face.

"Eating won't be hard, but its other things like sleeping that will be." I stated, "Do you know what I mean?"

His eyes flickered back and forth as he processed this thought. "Like peeing?"

I shuddered, "Yeah, and taking a shower. So here's the deal, when using the bathroom the other looks away and stands as far away as possible, in the shower, the other person will stand outside the shower curtain and not look, as for sleeping well, I'll sleep in my bed and you can sleep on the floor. Got all that?"

"Of course I do!" Naruto said, his eyes flashing back to angry, "I'm not stupid you know, so stop it with your attitude Mr. High and Mighty!"

Could have fooled me, it was on the tip of my tongue but I bit it back. Today was going to be awkward already; we didn't need anyone too angry and completely ruining everything. "Sorry." I spit out.

Naruto blinked and we both sat on the couch in silence for a whole 30 seconds before Naruto opened his mouth and asked, "Do you have anything to eat?"

"No." I replied, "I never eat, ever, I just wake up every morning and go my whole day without an ounce of food and somehow live to see the next day."

Naruto glared and then I remembered that it was my idea to make things less difficult.

"What do you want to eat?" I asked suddenly, I really wish there was some sort of undo button sometimes. It would be SO convenient.

"Do you have any ramen?" Naruto asked, I instantly cringed, figures that he would like something I don't like to eat. Then it dawned on me that I did happen to have ramen that I never eat, if I bought 10 cups of ramen I got some milk for half price and well who could resist a deal like that?

I couldn't.

"Yeah. In the pantry" and that's when he did it. That's when I witnessed something I will never forget, not even when I'm too old to remember where I put my keys.

I witnessed Naruto Uzumaki smile.

His eyelids hid the deep pools of blue, and I could clearly see his eyelashes against his tan skin. His teen shone wide and bright, and his eyebrows slightly arched as he let out a small pleased chuckle.

I need to crank up the AC; I'm still feeling really hot. Is it broken?

Naruto almost dragged me off the couch before I snapped out of it, his excitement at the promise of ramen was too much to contain and it gave him some unexpected strength. He opened my pantry, examining all the ramen cups and laughing to himself.

This guy is totally crazy, completely insane.

Suddenly he stopped laughing, examining the handcuffs closely. "Hey Sasuke, how are we supposed to take off our shirts?"

My eyes grew wide, did that mean no shower? No I can't do that feeling dirty drives me nuts! "I guess….I…."

I was completely stumped but then I thought, this doesn't mean any showers. It just means that I take of my shirt and roll it over to Naruto's side so it won't get completely soaked, and just bring a pair of clothes with me on Monday to change into.

Naruto didn't seem to have a problem with that and happily resumed his cooking.

I sighed, there were so many things I haven't thought about yet, and this was going to be hell.

We somehow managed to make it the rest of the day, but we fought in the shower because Naruto had tripped in and got my shirt soaked. Dumbass.

So here we are, angry in silence, with Naruto lying on the floor and I on the bed, both lying on our stomachs with our hands awkwardly connected on the edge of the bed. "Hey Sasuke?" Naruto said, suddenly.

"What?" my words came out angrier than I intended.

"I can't sleep like this." I stayed silent for a while, he's right I can't either. It's painfully uncomfortable.

"Me either." I admitted, thanking god I had a queen sized bed, "I guess you can share with me, but don't touch me. I hate that."

Please, somebody just let me get this horrible weekend over with!


	3. Chapter 3: Being Lonely

**Chapter Three: Being Alone**

We are never alone. It's the truth there are people all around you every day, thousands and thousands of souls surrounding you. So then how can it feel as if we are alone, how can we feel this way even surrounded by others constantly?

Loneliness is not determined by the absence of company, it's by the value found in life by the people we interact with.

That is how it is easy forget what it means to be truly lonely.

* * *

><p>Something warm nuzzled the side of my neck, I could feel softness wiping away at my chin, and heaviness in my body.<p>

My eyes shot open.

Why does he always have to do the complete opposite of everyone else? Huh? "hn." I yawned trying to push him off of me. "Naruto, get your ass off me."

It occurred to me to shove him completely off the bed, but then I remembered that we were currently attached as annoying as it was. "I don't want a chocolate bunny…"drooled Naruto, hugging me tighter. Really? What the hell? I glared at the ceiling and managed to shift so that I could face the idiot.

"Hey dobe." I poked his face with my one free arm; light peeked in from the curtains across the room, making his tan glow and his hair burn with a fierce brightness blinding me momentarily.

I thought I already fixed the air conditioner.

I sighed, too tired to fling Naruto back a bit or punch him in the stomach. It was a little to convenient for Kakashi to handcuff us together like that? It was the start of a good thought process interrupted by the feeling of someone glaring at me.

"What are you doing in my house?" Said a drowsy Naruto, his eyes glaring at me with such intensity it was weird to think I could have almost called him cute earlier, now that thought alone makes me want to run to the bathroom and rinse out my mouth.

"This is my house idiot." I replied, motioning down at Naruto's body lying on top of mine. "And you are once again breaking on of my rules."

He shot up off me, almost pulling me down as he fell off the side of the bed on his end, dragging me across the bed and causing me to ram my head into my headboard.

No puns intended.

"OW!" I yelled, angrily smacking Naruto in whatever area I managed to hit. "Fuck!"

There was a huge pause before Naruto stubbornly muttered an apology, then of course he went on to ask the one question I was expecting. "Do you have any food?"

"Do you have a brain?" I replied rubbing my head, Naruto glared from the floor.

"I have a brain asshole!" I let out a sarcastic laugh, which momentarily stumped Naruto who probably didn't even know there was such a thing as a sarcastic laugh.

"Well then we have something in common, because much like your brain, while I do have a food supply I don't have very much of it." It took him a whole 3 minutes to understand what I meant by those words, when we were already in the kitchen and he sent me a belated glare.

I hate this.

I want out now. I want to change my clothes, take an unawkward shower, and not have awkward moments involving Naruto's dick every ten minutes or so.

Naruto stared at the ramen, bending slightly into the pantry while I stood at his side, "I don't feel like eating anymore."

"What?" I said, more annoyance carrying in my voice than I actually meant. Why do I always do that? Now that…that is annoying.

"I just don't." Naruto said, I looked as his face, it was tired and paler than usual, "Can I go lay down for a while?"

"What's going on with you?" It just sort of fell out of my mouth, I didn't even think about it. Naruto was starting to rub off on me just a little bit, because I could just not stop talking. "Lately you have a different look to you, everything has a hint of sadness, and you don't even bother with me anymore. It pisses me off!"

Naruto was silent for a moment, his blue eyes searching me once again, before he looked away and stared at the ground below. "Why do you care?"

Those words echoed in my head, twisting my stomach in a million directions and drying out my throat. Why did I care? It's not like we were anything like friends, slash that, _are_ friends or anything like friends. But still all those times, throwing things at each other, yelling, and just causing overall chaos around us there was an energy I could feel from him that I enjoyed.

I resisted the urge to smack myself in the head, why the hell was I being so stupid lately? Is it all the heat in my house driving me nuts?

"Hn." I replied, "Never mind. Let's just try to get through this till Monday."

I was expecting an angry comment or a glare to melt my skull but instead I looked over to see a smirk on Naruto's face with his eyes wide and shinning, contrasting with his pale skin and the bags weighing down his eyes. "Maybe we don't have to wait till Monday."

If I did that sort of thing, I would have hugged him.

We stood outside the house of my Math teacher, Iruka with smirks on our faces. This was it; we were going to get out of this.

I should have known, this handcuff thing was only too convenient as a matter of fact I _did_ know.

"Knock already Dobe." I commanded, Naruto's hand hovered over the door as he rebelled against me for a whole 5 seconds before tapping on the wood lightly. I thought for a second that it hadn't worked, that Iruka was out of the house, or that Naruto had gotten the address wrong but then the door swung open to a wary looking Iruka.

"What are you doing he Naruto? Is there a problem? Do you need help?" I noticed him eyeing me cautiously. That's it; I really am the devil aren't I?

"We do have a problem." Said Naruto holding up our attached arms and showing the handcuffs clearly, Iruka blushed a deep crimson color causing me and Naruto to exchange a look of wonder.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE!" Panicked Iruka, pulling Naruto into his house causing me to be dragged behind hitting my head, once again, on the fucking entryway proving that today is not my day. While rubbing my throbbing head, I listened to Naruto fill in the details to a fuming Iruka.

"I'll get the keys." Iruka said, disappearing into a nearby room. I felt my right eyebrow raised and looked over at Naruto letting go of my head.

"Is there something I should know?" I asked eyeing Naruto thoughtfully.

"Iruka and Kakashi are dating." Naruto replied, now both of my eyebrows were raised. Who knew? Before I could make any further thoughts on the idea of two of my male teachers dating each other, Iruka walked out of the room, dragging Kakashi behind him.

"Give them the key's." Iruka commanded, crossing his arms at Kakashi who smiled up at him from the floor. Iruka glared, causing Kakashi's smile to deflate, he reached in his pocket and pulled out the pair of keys handing them up to Iruka.

"I couldn't help it Iruka." He whined, pleading with his boyfriend, "I read something similar in a Make Out Paradise book. It was genius I really had to try it out, and you wouldn't let me do anything else with the handcuffs other than..."

I was grateful Iruka silenced him with his hand, preventing Kakashi from explaining any further than he already had.

"Why us?" Naruto fumed, rubbing his wrist as Iruka unlocked us from the handcuffs that were used for god knows what, I noted for that one second Naruto sounded normal, "AND IN YOUR PERVY HANDCUFFS TO!"

Kakashi eyed us thoughtfully, but I noticed his eyes scanning me especially, did he know something I didn't? "Because, you both have things you need to realize about each other, I'm tired of dealing with the both of you constantly arguing, it's about time you resolved your petty fights and moved on."

I shook my head and scuffed, so many questions but all the answers are clouded, that's how it seems in my head lately, as if I'm lost.

How can you be lost in your own head?

Iruka saw us out the door, with Kakashi pleading in the background, "I'm sorry. Both of you feel free to come to me for help when you need it."

Then he shut the door, leaving me and Naruto standing on the steps awkwardly together, I was really tired of being eyed but Naruto was doing it anyway with a look that seemed mysterious. "Uhh…" Naruto shifted, showing on his outer surface what I felt in my inner self.

"Bye Dobe." I said turning to walk away, but something pulled at my sleeve.

Turning back around I noticed Naruto's expression was once again showing my feelings, surprise. "Uhh….I know that you don't like me, and I know that we fight all the time….but ….it wouldn't be bad to spend time together sometime. I always thought you were just an asshole, but maybe I…."

"Later Dobe." I cut him off, aware that I was countering everything he was saying to me as I walked away. But something in Naruto's tone, something in his words, made me shake with nervousness that I will never admit.

The walk to my apartment was long and tedious, boredom pounded around my skull reminding me of my non-existent life, and yes I'm admitting I don't have one, so do me a favor and don't repeat it to anyone else.

I sighed; climbing the stairs to my apartment and circling the keys round and round my middle finger before shoving it into the keyhole and turning. I opened the door and looked around, everything was dim, and the house was quiet. It was in that exact moment that I noticed something valuably important.

I have a thousand people around me every day; I have girls all over me, and an enemy to torment. But none of the valued me as a person did they? They valued me for who they thought I was or was supposed to be.

I am truly alone.


	4. Chapter 4: A Thousand Judgements

**I would just like to announce that the next update will be January 25 so hang around that day if you want to read chapter 5.**

Chapter Four: A Thousand Judgments

A thousand judgments do not make up a soul.

People are who they are, despite what you make think of them, despite thoughts you treat as fact, there are just things you will never know, or don't know to start. We all judge, we all analyze each other, but what makes the difference in being judgmental and just curious in understanding others is how we treat the thoughts that we have.

_That_ is what makes getting to know others an experience to remember.

* * *

><p>I pounded my head against the front door, 1. Because it's Monday, and everyone knows Monday's suck, 2. Because I was actually going to do something that I would regret for the rest of my life.<p>

I was going to befriend the one person I hated most….well… besides Sakura and Ino. Naruto Uzumaki, the kid always annoying me about random crap.

But he wasn't that kid anymore.

So now on to the real question, why was I doing this?

Well…I spent a whole Sunday by myself and….it sucked. Images of Naruto laughing with his friends and smiling around my house flashed through my mind all day, it's amazing that I even got sleep. But it was really the walk to school that was dreadful.

Sakura found me.

Because guess what? I forgot all about my freaking route system and took the most commonly used route to school, but still Sakura was better than Ino because she kept her hands to herself for the most part while Ino hung all over me, so even if it sucked it could be worse.

Ino could have found me.

"Do you know anything about Naruto?" I asked Sakura whose eyes widened in surprise as she smiled, that's when I realized it was the first time I've talked to her since around two weeks ago when I told her she was "being a dumbass" and to basically go away in so many words.

Wow, did I really do that? Oh wait of course I did, but to be fair I was in a bad mood from Naruto spilling hot coffee on me in the previous class while he was handing it to Shikamaru, forever staining my favorite shirt or at least in my mind that day. The stain came out no problem.

"Of course I know Naruto!" She exclaimed a smile appearing on her face I've never witnessed before, "He's been my friend since elementary school! Well…we sort of had a huge argument in middle school, but we rekindled our relationship freshmen year."

"Really?" I said trying to keep the surprised tone in my voice down. I never really pay that much attention to people, unless they annoy me and only then do I collect just enough information about them to successfully avoid them. My "no life" alarm bells started ringing and I had to shove down the urge to feel sorry for myself.

That would just be pathetic.

"Why do you ask?" Sakura questioned, sounding slightly worried. I almost told her it was because I wanted to make a list of all the people he knew and send them to hell to be tortured in the worst ways possible for thousands of years, because apparently I'm the devil and am capable of such things.

But I said _almost_.

"Just wondering." I somewhat answered, shifting my backpack around hoping it would become more comfortable for me. If only it was actually my backpack that was making me uncomfortable or the fact that I had to go to a complete loser to find "a life" which was currently absent.

How is it that I can have everything and nothing at the same damn time? It just doesn't make any sense, well actually now that I think about it Naruto only has one thing that I don't.

Companionship.

The rest of the walk was silent on my end of conversation, when we arrived at the school I managed to ditch Sakura by ducking into the bathroom and waiting her out, making me almost late for first period, but how could I possibly be almost late for a class with a teacher who is always late?

I couldn't.

Luckily, or maybe unluckily it was hard to tell at this point, the only seat left was smack dab in the middle of Naruto and his friends. At this rate Naruto would be beside me, Shikamaru in front, Choji in front of Naruto (next to Shikamaru), Kiba behind Naruto and Shino behind me beside Kiba.

It could be worse, I could be the devil.

Sitting next to Naruto was more awkward than I thought it would be, mostly because this was the first time in my entire experience of interacting with Naruto that I managed to not argue with him about something. Normally one of us would start it and Kakashi would finish it with his appearance, but today we both came to some sort of silent agreement that it wouldn't be worth it on a Monday morning after being handcuffed for a day and nearly all out brawling for two.

Yeah that's great, but we also weren't talking either, his friends just sat around making conversation while throwing looks in my direction every once in a while.

Never mind it is worse, I am the devil.

I let out a sigh, groaning dramatically inwardly. How the hell was I going to admit after being such an asshole the other day that Naruto was right, something I would never do, and try to hang out with him?

Well first step is talking to him right? So I scribbled a note.

_Hey Dobe,_

_Meet me for lunch if you don't mind, I want to talk to you about the other day, about what you were saying. I really wouldn't mind giving it a shot._

I didn't really bother signing it or anything, I just reached over and plopped it on his desk, though Kiba was staring at me the entire time which really made the whole thing more awkward than it had to be. Making this day even more awkward than it already was, and it was all just awkward. Naruto looked down and read the note thoughtfully, not noticing the canine lover behind him trying to catch a glimpse of the note but failing.

Blue eyes focused on mine before he looked down scribbling his reply.

_Don't call me Dobe Teme. Is it okay to meet after school instead, I have plans at lunch with my friends?_

I merely nodded at Naruto, realizing I would have to find another way of escaping Ino and Sakura at lunch, he got the message without having to confirm with me what I meant. I shifted uncomfortably resisting the urge to groan with impatience.

Did I happen to mention that today is really awkward for me?

Today I managed to eat lunch alone by staying longer than necessary to talk to my teacher Asuma and then ducking in a bathroom nearby. (Authors note* I am aware that most students, where I am from, address their teachers by their last name, however Kakashi once mentioned that Sasuke can be disrespectful when addressing others by neglecting formalities and I really wanted to use this, I hope no one minds.) So that left me plenty of time to contemplate exactly what I was going to say to Naruto.

I know I'm always throwing the things I have in your face, because you don't have them, but I am really actually just a really well known guy without a real life so there we go? No, no, I am not going to say that, never mind.

How about, I really am crazy for saying this but you were right and I really want to try to have friends of some kind even if they are a complete loser like you. No, no, that doesn't work either.

I lightly pounded my head on the side of the bathroom stall, praying to god no one caught me in here, because then it really would become an awkward day and then where would I be? Crazed and the devil.

The end of the day couldn't have come sooner.

I paced outside the school, not caring that I looked like a total idiot, waiting for Naruto to come out. Kids rushed by, Sakura and Ino tried to attach but I literally shoved them off, and Kiba walked by staring at me the entire time.

What's up with that guy?

It occurred to me that Kiba was probably having the same exact thought, and I carried on without thinking any further on it. FINALLY, finally a blonde head came weaving out of the crowd, dragging me into a nearby alleyway.

I really don't get dragged very often, but lately it seemed to be happening all the time, but then again a lot of things are happening to me recently that never have before. We stopped and Naruto turned, hues of blue spun my head round and round, all I could do was stare and wait, "Yesterday I was going to say that maybe…"

"You were wrong." I said cutting him off again and taking a step closer, " You are absolutely wrong, I am an asshole, but…I'm….alone…."

Admitting it took everything out of me and I looked away in a distant direction, Naruto stared at me blankly, with what I'm guessing was really his thinking face. Inside my head I was screaming at myself for my stupidity. What the **hell** am I doing?

But it was too late; I already admitted something I could never take back.

"So….are you saying that you wouldn't mind hanging out sometimes." Naruto replied suddenly, a grin spreading across his face almost forming a full blown smile. Images of Naruto smiling in my kitchen, smirking in front of me flooded my mind drowning me into silence.

Trying to get over the chocking in my throat I nodded my head in agreement. I can't believe I'm doing this, if I had been told I would do this a week ago I would have punched the messenger out.

At least I wouldn't have killed them; just brutally beaten them into inches within Death's grasp.

"How about right now!" The blonde exclaimed excitedly, jumping into the air with excitement suddenly, "Want to hang out at my house?"

My eyes threatened to pop out of my skull and I had to take a moment to blink a few times to compose myself before replying. "Alright, but I don't have all day Dobe."

"DON'T CALL ME DOBE, TEME!" I rolled my eyes, following him down the alleyway toward his house I guess, I wouldn't know I've never been. After a brief moment of silence, Naruto opened his mouth again to speak. "Hey Sasuke."

"Yeah." I answered, looking over at Naruto who was walking at my side.

"Did you know that you have a piece of toilet paper on the back of your pants?" I froze feeling blood rush up to my cheeks as Naruto pointed and laughed beside me, you have got to be kidding me. As I hurriedly took the toilet paper out, cursing my escapes to the bathroom to eat lunch, Naruto added, "I don't think anyone noticed and besides I do that all the time."

Oh god.

What's wrong with me! I glared at Naruto crossing my arms and stomping forward, this sort of stuff never happened to me.

Ever.

Ten minutes later I was sitting in Dobe's house, which was disgusting with dirty dishes and laundry scattered everywhere, I couldn't even find a couch to sit on if I tried. "Do you ever clean?"

No I thought in my head, "Yes sometimes." Naruto replied countering my inner thoughts. Sometimes for him must be once in a blue moon.

I watched Naruto looking around his own house, something in his tone had fallen since we arrived, and he seemed to observe the room with a coldness I've never even felt. This is saying something considering my reputation for being an "Ice Prince" if anything I thought I was the one with the most renowned prominent glare, but Naruto's came in close enough to send a cool shiver down my spine.

But this look was fleeting and once again he was smiling at me, moving things around for me to sit at the kitchen table for him, he offered me food and drink which I accepted with silent shock. There was something defiantly wrong here, wrong with Naruto.

I stared at him from the corners of my eye as he roamed around the kitchen making himself a cup of ramen and tossing me a bag of chips. "Don't you eat anything else? "

It seemed like a common question, something people probably asked him all the time, "No, I eat other stuff to, but ramen is all I know how to cook that I actually like."

"You mean all that you can heat up in a microwave that you enjoy eating." I stated, "Heating up isn't really cooking."

Naruto glared at me,"Are you telling me that you cook Sasuke, I wonder what people would think about that at school and the toilet paper to. "

I glared back and we fell into another momentary silence as Naruto retrieved his ramen and sat across from me at the dining table, the one only clean place really out of the whole apartment now that I'm looking. "Are you sure you don't want anything else?"

"Yeah, I'm more than sure." I said, wrinkling my nose as I looked around the apartment, my eyes settling on the cup of ramen in front of me.

Naruto seemed to glare, it was almost normal now, and I felt myself relax oddly enough despite the tension. "That's why I don't like you. It's like you above everyone else but you're not."

All the normalcy washed away for a second in understanding, I realized that he had everything that I didn't while the same was true the other way around. So perhaps we could find some balance, even though we are opposites.

Opposites balance all the time.

I don't know why, but I was feeling unusually open with Naruto, more so than I have ever been with any other person, "You want to know what I really have. I have an empty apartment, no one to ever hang out with, I spend my weekends cleaning and doing homework, I have girls trying to rip me apart and everyone seems to think I'm some sort of devil and I really always screw up because I get really stupid sometimes.. and "but then I ran out of "ands" I just couldn't say anything more humiliating than I already did. I had to stop myself from telling him every little thing about myself, even though he was an annoying kid and I have a deep annoyance for him. Did I happen to mention "annoying" anywhere in there?

It was just too easy to talk to him.

There was more silence than before, but I could feel blue eyes staring at me as I wordlessly opened my backpack and pulled out homework for Iruka. "Do you need help with math idiot?"

"HEY!" Naruto spat, grumbling at me "DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOU OUT!"

"Whatever Dobe." I smirked, flashing the homework with all the answers already written in his face. "Do you need help are not?"

"I don't need help." Naruto insisted, "I can do that stuff myself."

"Whatever, I just thought you needed help because I always hear Sakura complaining about it. Naruto cant do this, Naruto cant do that, do you know what score Naruto got in Math today? It was horrible" I prodded, trying to push him into a position that would stop making me look like a complete idiot and make things more normal. Putting me at me top and him in his usual place, below me….. you know maybe he did have a point about looking down on people.

Oh well.

The rest of the evening was spent with me hitting Naruto every five seconds for being an idiot and then him hitting me back, resulting in a mini war of some kind and then everything would revert back in a cycle of helping and violence. It wasn't that bad.

Aside from all the weird happenings lately, I mean toilet paper? Really?

"Its time for me to go Dobe, see you later." I smirked, gathering all my things and heading towards the front door. Naruto followed closely, and when I turned to say goodbye the smirk fell from my face.

Naruto had look, once again fleeting, of fear that was quickly replaced with a small fake smile as he addressed me. "Bye."

I paused before turning around, "bye" slipping through lips while my mind processed. What's wrong with him? I can feel it, I can see it, I can hear it and the answer is on the tip of his very tongue just waiting for me to understand. But what can I do?

I was about a foot away from the door when Naruto called out to me, "Hey Sasuke! Want to eat lunch together tomorrow?"

Ino and Sakura escaping without involving a bathroom, did that even require a verbal answer? "Yeah." I said, holding down an exclamation.

"Okay." Naruto said with a small smile, retreating back into his house. I wonder if Naruto's friends have noticed anything? They probably have, but the real question is what have they noticed. Maybe eating lunch with Naruto will help with breaking the ice with the others and then I can talk to them about it.

That wasn't a bad idea.

But, not to copy Shikamaru, my current status as Devil could make the entire idea time consuming on top of just plain old troublesome and was Naruto really all that worth it?

Naruto's real, genuine smile flashed in my eyes and I frowned at the thought I just had. Friends are supposed to be worth it right, so if he is supposed to be something of a friend then of course it's worth it to find out what's going on no matter what it takes.

But at the end of the day there was one question I still couldn't answer.

Why did I even begin to care?


	5. Chapter 5: What the Hell?

**WARNING: suggestive sexual themes (but not really anything, I'm just saying because some are sensitive people)**

**I would like to apologize, because I had originally planned to release this chapter at midnight, when my internet conveniently broke, and has now just started working again. The next chapter will be published around the 29th, however I have some major things going on so I do not know if that will change or not.**

Chapter Five: What the Hell?

Sometimes we wished we knew something with all our heart. As if knowing could solve everything, as if knowing was the answer to completing ourselves, there is nothing more in the world we need.

And then we find out.

From then on, we spend the rest of our lives trying to erase the discovery as if not realizing that it can never be done. Our discovery is now a part of who we are, and now we have to work with it.

The only question is how?

My key broke. Right when I put it in the lock and turned it snapped at the handle. I'm going to especially hate today aren't I? Now that I look at it I hate the door, my neighbor and his door, I hate my door mat, I hate the stairs, I hate the sidewalk.

There are million things I hate.

I hate sweets.

I hate lines.

I hate annoying women.

I hate being annoyed.

I hate my own stupidity.

I hate Kakashi.

I hate Naruto.

I hate ramen.

I hate lists that ramble.

The point is there are a ton of things I hate, so many in fact that I'm starting to lose sight of what I actually favor in life. I am beyond irritated with all the beatings and embarrassment that I have suffered recently it's no wonder considering how uncharacteristic my life has been lately. But I had to suck it up; today I was eating lunch with Naruto, trying to gain what he has is essential and something not to be ruined by my stupid moodiness.

I took a deep breath, walking out towards the school, bumping into quite a few people along the way to get out the emotions and by the time I arrived at the school all I was feeling was completely refreshed. Moodiness solved.

Now on to the rest of my day, apparently consisting with everything I listed I hated. So far, I see Kakashi in first period, who yelled at me for smacking Naruto in the head after he decided to sketch on my paper annoying me. Then I hated myself for being annoyed at Naruto. On the way to lunch Sakura and Ino ambushed me second period, shoving a piece of chocolate cake in my mouth before I could get away causing me to end up waiting in the lunch line for five minutes before sitting down instantly sniffing Naruto's disgusting cup ramen.

And now I am making a rambling list.

Perfect there's nothing left.

So here I am, sipping on my cold water while Naruto slurps away beside me. The rest of the table seemed to ramble on with their own agendas. Shikamaru was awake and discussing things about Chemistry with a chowing down Choji who had a slightly confused look on his face. Shino was trying to talk to Kiba about insect species, but Kiba stopped him on the topic of Cockroaches, something I was glad for. A guy named Lee had joined as well and was trying to lecture Shikamaru about skipping gym only to be ignored the entire time, but seeming not to realize that. Then there was this kid named Gaara, who spent his time glaring silently at me while I spent my time glaring back.

I made a new friend, hooray.

It was surprising that no one gave me the "Why are you here?" look the entire time, excluding the glare from Gaara which probably had more to do with reputation than anything else. Gaara used to be feared, but now he's friends with Naruto somehow. That's all I really know about him, besides the fact that he is the best in the school when it comes to grades, putting me at a close second.

At least he's the same height as Naruto, putting him at a disadvantage in Basketball in gym, though most are too afraid to go near him still, not realizing he hasn't punched out an idiot in ages.

There was something else I found out today that I didn't know, Shikamaru has a girlfriend, which I only know because Gaara paused glaring at me to bite off Shikamaru's head for not calling his sister last night about a date because he fell asleep .

You have to be brave to go after Gaara's sister that's for sure.

The rest of the day flew by pretty quickly, and I realized I had a lot of Naruto's friends in my classes, especially Shikamaru. Ironically enough Shikamaru seems the easiest to approach while also being the hardest to talk to, mostly because all he does is sleep.

The entire class period.

But it was still easier than Shino, when I tried to talk to him all he said was, "It's unusual for you to talk with me. Why is it unusual for you to talk to me? Because you hardly every talk to anyone." Which I would like to point out is obvious.

I could give up, punch Naruto and go back to normal, erasing everything that could have happened and has happened. It would be easy, it would be simple, and it would feel amazing. But the easy way isn't my way. I've risen to the very tip of the ranks of this school by that policy and I wasn't about to change it now, not just for a blonde haired, blue eyed, shinning white smiled, tan skinned…Dobe, but also because this situation now involved my pride.

I sighed; I would have a chance to get closer to Naruto after school because I would be torturing, I mean tutoring him in Mathematics again today. Should we go to my house this time though so that maybe he will be more at peace and less on edge?

Oh wait, that's right, my key broke in the fucking lock didn't it?

Getting the key piece out wasn't a problem; I did that while letting out a stream of cuss words this morning. It was having a spare key that was a problem. Normally, I would just climb in through a window, but when you live in the second story of an apartment complex that's a hard thing to do. I could also go to a hardware store or something and see what they could do for me using the pieces of keys I have. Or talk to the landlord that will just give me a bunch of shit because he really doesn't like me ever since I accidently ran over his cat while learning how to drive in the parking lot. But let's be honest, regardless if I hang out with Naruto are not it will just annoy me further and I will put it off because I really don't want to do much else today. Let's add it to the list of another thing to do on a Sunday.

Now I bet your wondering where I will stay in the meantime. Well the truth is I have a brother. That's right, I do. He refused to take over the business before father's death, which is why the company got entrusted to me. Itachi is a guitarist, his dream job, and he also happens to live next door to me, not having anything to do with my dreams but my nightmares.

I hate him for refusing to take over the family business, and he is always telling me, "Our fathers dream is not our dream Sasuke." How can he say that? It's my dream to make _my_ father's dream a reality, so suck on that Itachi.

Suck hard.

I know that I have thought this before, but the end of the day REALLY couldn't have come sooner. This time though, I found Naruto, who had last period with Iruka, before he even left. Iruka was complementing Naruto on his homework grade, and I felt an unfamiliar feeling crawling its way in my chest. I brushed it off though, that was weird.

Iruka began packing up his things, and right when I was about to walk into the room a pale, dark haired boy approached Naruto and wrapped his arms around his waist. I froze, slowly registering Naruto's face twist up and his fingers pulling at the boys arms. His eyes were wide and begging with panic to be released tugging at the pit of my stomach.

In an instant the boys arm was being twisted in the clutch of my hands.

"SASUKE RELEASE SAI THIS INSTANT!" Iruka ordered I paused glaring up into the smiling boy named Sai's eyes before releasing my grasp slowly.

"Let's go Naruto." I barked, walking out the door with Naruto closely following me.

The walk outside the school was silent, but like always it was Naruto who broke the silence. "Thanks, Sai pisses me off a lot. He's really insulting! More than you are Teme."

I couldn't register if that was a complement or an insult in itself, but I let it go. Whatever was better in Naruto's eyes I guess? "Are we going to your house today?"

Naruto bit his lip and shifted slowly from side to side on the balls of his feet, "Well what about your house?"

"Well actually I was locked out of my apartment this morning, so we would have to go to my brother's place, which is right next to mine." I replied, turning my head away subconsciously. "But it wouldn't be that much of a problem with you would it?"

"No." Naruto replied, he was sounding very sober compared to his usual self. Was he like this because of Sai? Did Sai do something to him? Why did Naruto look so panicked, so scared? One thing was absolutely sure, I did not like Sai.

That's all I had.

As we walked I explained to Naruto why it was that Itachi was living next to me, "We used to live together, but we got into to many fights, so Itachi worked out a deal with the landlord and now we rent both of the apartments right next to each other. Itachi said he wanted to keep an eye on me, but to be honest I really almost never see him."

Please let him be there when we arrive, no wait, he better be there when we arrive. Otherwise it's just another reason for me to kill him added to the list. Suddenly, without a single warning, Naruto ran in front of me, smirking behind him as the sun glowed around him. His eyes twinkled, his skin caught every inch of my eyes.

Intoxicating.

"Hey Sasuke, want to race me there?" Just like that Naruto was running, my mind caught up with Naruto's words and I charged ahead. There was no way I was going to be beaten by a Dobe.

7 minutes later I was pounding up the stair with Naruto yelling "You so cheated!"

"I didn't cheat, it's not my fault you clumsy" I said turning around; it wasn't my fault he couldn't dodge my foot in front of him. Naruto froze his blue eyes and his head cocking to one side.

"No WAY! I didn't know you smiled Teme!" Naruto said, smiling back. My smile fell and I glared at him instead, no way had I smiled. Letting my glare fall, I smirked at Naruto before walking up to my brother's front door. If he wasn't here I would be smashing in with a hammer.

Deep breathe Sasuke.

Anger management books don't work for shit by the way. I pounded on the door and yelled, "Itachi open the fucking door!"

The door slowly swung up, and Itachi leaned against the side of the entryway blocking entrance. "It's rare to get a visit from you little brother, did something happen? Your key break or something?"

I glared, is it even possible that he could have been behind that? No way, that would be too crazy to even think about. "Maybe. Can I stay here until the weekend?"

"You're actually asking?" Itachi played, "well I don't know I'll have to think about it."

"ITACHI!" I yelled, my fists baling, I was so angry I didn't even see a single digit approaching my forehead and jabbing me. I blinked back my insult.

"Of course you are welcome little brother. Is that a friend behind you?" Itachi peered behind me at a Naruto, smirking lightly while the stupid idiot gawked. Why would anyone gawk at Itachi, Naruto especially.

"Whatever just leave us alone and don't talk to me while I'm here." I pushed past him, dragging Idiot behind me, not bothering to deal with Itachi anymore. I spent the rest of the evening having fun, yeah I know right? Fun.

With Naruto.

It was enjoyable enough, and I smiled into the moment. Naruto stayed for dinner, which I embarrassingly enough, had to cook due to the fact that Itachi is completely unreliable in the kitchen even with a microwave. Then he left leaving me and Itachi alone to avoid each other.

I closed my eyes content with the thought that soon it would all be over, and I would be back in my apartment by the weekend.

_Fingers combed through hair, tracing every inch from the chin to the naval. Legs intertwined. Hot breathe, moans, light nips on the shoulder. Sensations streaming with every touch across tanned smooth skin as hearts pounded against one another, chest to chest._

I sat up, breathing heavily looking around my room in an awed state, running my fingers through my hair and checking my clothing was still there.

What the hell?


	6. Chapter 6: Turning Back the Clock

**Alright, so the next chapter will be posted February 2. I do have to say that this chapter isn't my favorite, but is sort of necessary so it will have to do! I hope everyone is enjoying this and I ask for reviews in order to improve my writing or boost my self-esteem: D (Jk on the self-esteem)**

Chapter Six: Turning Back the Clock

There is a moment in our memories that we hold dear, a moment lost through the sequences of time. It is a moment, the moment that makes us wish we could turn back the ticking clocks of our lives and start over. It makes us say "If I could, I would."

Some would say that they wished they never missed that bus.

Some would say that they wished they never ignored that one person.

Some would say that they wished they never spoke regretful words.

Some would say that they wished they never turned the knob of a door, setting off the timer of a bomb waiting to go off on the ticking clocks of their lives.

There are many things that some would say, and there are many things that some would wish. But in the end, we all have something in common that is easily forgotten in a world where it is easy to find yourself lost in heartache.

We've all lost something and we'll all lose something more.

I woke up two hours earlier than I usually do, but it was the fault of the frames of these walls. Itachi had filled his house with every picture from back in _those _days.

Careful not to wake Itachi, I silently stepped down the hall peering into a past that was now faded and unreal. My mother with all her beauty and silent grace, my father stern and strong, my brother different and respected in my eyes as he holds me as a baby in his arms, barely able to hold me with his height.

Voices ring out form the frames, shaking my mind. But in reality it is the last picture at the end of the hall that speaks the loudest. It's me, or the boy who used to be me, smiling into the camera lens. On the beginning of that day, I was that boy, when the end came everything in me was gone.

I was so stupid, my father had been yelling at Itachi that morning upsetting me because I actually liked my brother then, I yelled at them all that morning, screaming that I hated them when I really meant I hated what they were doing, before running out the door to go to school with my mother's hands chasing me. I was forgetful, and smiled all through the day. But when Itachi came to pick me up that day, dragging me along with beads of sweat on his forehead I knew that something was wrong. My words echoed through my head from that morning and fear bubbled up with me.

That was the day my parents died.

Itachi and I are left, but I'm the only one who cares; I'm the only one who truly knows; I am alone in this as well, another thing to add to the list.

My knuckles turned white as I gripped the side of the frame, taking it off the wall now and forever. It was as if he had died that day too, I had died, but I was right here.

Stashing away the picture, I decided to do all the stupid tasks of the morning, and take route #15 today.

School would be a new world for me just like it was then.

"Hey." Kiba said as he entered Kakashi's classroom taking a seat next to mine, a little shocked all I could do was stare at the space ahead of me while I comprehended what just happened.

"Hi?" I said turning to face him.

"So…this whole hanging with Naruto thing, you don't have any ulterior motives do you?" He questioned, tapping his fingers lightly on the desks surface. This was the calmest I have ever seen Kiba in the entirety that I've known him. It was unusual and should have sent warning bells throughout my head, but this morning clouded my mind.

"Not really." I answered, "Why?"

"Because I don't trust you." glared Kiba, clenching his fists and visibly gritting his teeth "If you do anything, you will regret it."

Our conversation was silenced by the entrance of Naruto himself and his other friends who had this class, but I showed that I understood with a head nod. To be honest, I expected this a long time ago; I am the devil after all.

I rolled my eyes as Naruto took the seat in front of me. Why? Because he was wearing a bright orange shirt that said "I'm a beast ;)" with these faded jeans and a hole clearly revealing orange silk boxers on his thigh. Why am I talking like Shino you ask? I don't know I'm in a weird mood this morning.

Heat swelled my cheeks, streaking them with pink. Reaching my hand out, I punched him the head. "You IDIOT! Your underwear is showing."

Naruto paused, looking down at his pants before frantically covering them with his hands. I snickered a little, causing Naruto to yell "DON'T LAUGH AT ME TEME!" before a book came flying at the back of his head.

Kakashi, who had his feet on the teacher desk glared, "Naruto! If you ruin another chapter so help me god I will end you!" Naruto shivered slightly before sliding further down in his seat while I cracked up behind him. Normally this wouldn't be much to laugh about, but this always happens when I'm around Itachi. I go crazy.

Naruto stared at me, turning slowly in his seat, and the others were looking at me strangely. Since when did Sasuke Uchiha have the ability to laugh? Was what they were all thinking. I sighed, stopping myself from laughing any more than I already had, can't weird myself out any more either. It's just too much. Naruto whispered, "Did you take some sort of pill this morning Sasuke?"

I paused as if I was thinking, before replying. "You know? I think I did." Even though I was joking, it was fine with me to have Naruto believe it, and lie to Naruto about it rather than have him find out what's really going on. How embarrassing would it be to admit your crazy?

Very. Naruto seemed to accept this answer and turned in his seat grinning. Great now he was probably planning something. Like a prank.

Annoying.

The rest of the day droned on, Ino and Sakura were more persistent than usual because of my supposed illness, and joined me to eat with Naruto and his friends. Resulting in me finding out quite a lot from the following interactions that took place between them all. Apparently they knew each other better than I thought, seeming to be friends with each other. Ino and Sakura were distracted by the presence of the others, and were actually not that bad when they weren't all over me.

It was as if they were human and not mindless raging fan girls.

For a moment, then they went right back to pestering me after lunch. So much for seeing a new side to people, huh? As the day faded away, so did my craziness, something that I was thankful for. Now I could tutor Naruto without having to worry about any weirdness from my end of the conversation.

Today we would be going to Naruto's house instead of back to Itachi's, another thing I was thankful for especially considering the episode from this morning. I just wasn't in the mood for that again. "Are you okay?" I heard from the person beside me.

It was Naruto; we were walking home together now as I silently replayed the day in my head. "I'm alright Dobe." I answered, though I was feeling a little drowsy. Maybe I was getting some kind of sickness, and I just jinxed myself earlier.

"Well how should I know?" Naruto yelled, "You're just walking along the path with this stupid ass look on your face. What am I supposed to think?"

I shrugged as Naruto approached his front door, attempting to unlock the door while dropping his keys multiple times. Sighing, I looked over at the other house to see Naruto's next door neighbor watching us closely. His eyes were covered by sunglasses and his hair was a bright orange, with black streaks. I felt my eyebrows raise as I leaned into Naruto who just managed to get the key in the lock. "Who is that?"

Naruto looked over at the guy, a bright smile appeared on his face as he waved, "Hey Kurama!" the man just "humph'd" and walked inside his door. Naruto's smile fell a bit as he turned to me, "That's Kurama; he got out of prison a few years ago, back when many knew him as Kyuubi. I've been trying to talk to him, but he ignores me most of the time."

I barely heard the rest after Kyuubi, a wanted murder who killed over 15 people and never admitted he was guilty. How could they let someone like that go? Even if he was only charged with 2 murders, because of some sort of evidence bull crap, I remember my father being angry about it when I was younger.

"Are you coming in or what?" Asked Naruto, I had the urge to smack him and yell "Do you have any idea who you're living next to!", but I bit my tongue. There is no way that Naruto _wouldn't_ know, _everyone_ knew. I followed Naruto in the house, and we instantly started to study.

I have to admit Naruto is smarter than I anticipated; the trick is _how_ he understands it or in other words how you taught it to him. For instance I explained to him how to do quadratic equations using cup ramen and ice cream, don't ask me how, I just managed.

Going back to Itachi's would be a horrible experience, so even when the homework was finished and the questions were answered I found myself lingering. Naruto peered at me with a concerned look on his face as I tapped my fingers on his kitchen counters while stirring a pot of soup. "Do you not want to go home Sasuke."

I paused, shifting feet as I pondered my answer. It's not exactly like I could stay here, its Wednesday and we have school tomorrow. Then I had an idea that I've never had before, "Want to skip school with me tomorrow?"

Naruto's mouth fell open as he leaned in closer to me, I tried to keep my composure as his hot breathe made contact with my skin and I could feel a chocking in my throat. Naruto's hand reached up making contact with my forehead, "You feel really hot, are you okay?"

I really wished that Naruto was less concerned and more worried about pulling pranks on me like I feared earlier, because then I wouldn't be in this situation.

I would be kicking his ass.

Pulling his hand off my forehead gently, I replied "Yeah I'm okay." But blue eyes begged to differ and I sighed, seeing a way out. "Fine, I'm not okay but if I admit it then I have to go home and suffer by myself because Itachi will be too busy and I don't like him anyway and then I will have to…"

But I was cut off by an over eager Naruto, "I'll take care of you! You can stay here for tonight and tomorrow and I will take care of you okay?"

Letting out a sigh of relief, I nodded "Alright."

That's how I ended up spending the night at Naruto's house; on a week night when school was the next day with no clothes and a heavy ass backpack with no room for a ruler because I was putting off cleaning it out as much as possible for unknown reasons. I know it was a lot for me to take in too.

Today I have lost my pride, some of my reputation, and I have gained knowledge and connections. Today I have learned, for everything lost there is something new to be found.


	7. Chapter 7:The Voices

**I would like to point out that this is a SasuNaru fic! Just in case you didn't know XD. Sasuke is not a crazy person, he's just a normal traumatized person? Also another update will be done, February 10, Im trying to get a little ahead and make chapters a little lengthy. **

**Chapter Seven: The voices**

When there are a thousand screaming voices in a room, is the silent voice heard amongst the crowd? A question only answered by the strength of the voice.

I woke up to the smell of more soup and groaned. Let's hope that Naruto can follow the damn recipe, I only showed him that once. Last night I took Naruto's bed while Naruto slept on the couch, I really have no idea how he could possibly sleep on that thing when it was covered with his laundry.

Stretching, I rolled on my side and checked my cell. Messages and missed calls from Itachi swarmed the screen as soon as I turned it on.

_Where are you? 6:00 pm_

_Are you coming back? 6:30pm_

_You left your homework here. Don't want to fail your classes do you? 8:00pm_

_I'm burning your homework. 8:15pm_

_I guess you're staying with your friend. Don't forget to go to school little bother. 9:00pm_

Reading the texts irritated me and I slowly wondered what his number was doing in my phone anyway. It was the hundredth time I said I was going to delete it, and for the hundredth time I only hovered on the thought. I yawned getting off the bed and walking over to Naruto's dresser where there were clothes set out for me to use, I cringed at the sight of bright orange. There was no way I was going to wear that.

Opening the first drawer of Naruto's dresser I resolved myself to one day go shopping with Naruto and make sure he had other kinds of clothing for once. There was on white shirt in the mass of orange, I reached for it when my hand touched something cool and smooth through the cloth.

Carefully I pulled the object up along with the shirt, un-wrapping it to reveal a knife. I froze what could he possibly be doing with this? I didn't have time to think about it before I could hear footsteps coming down the hall; I shoved the knife and shirt back in the drawer, slowly closing it before the door gently opened revealing a haired blue eyed stranger.

Well not really a stranger, but it seems so at this moment.

"I'm changing Dobe, get out for now." I said, grabbing the orange shirt off the dresser while stepping past Naruto who had his tongue stuck out at me as I passed, over my shoulder I said. "Go get some cleaning supplies ready."

I watched his face fall, smirking a little in amusement before stepping into the bathroom to change.

"SCRUB HARDER!" I barked at Naruto as he scrubbed his kitchen floor on hands and knees. He glared at me, defiantly slowing his pace before realizing that it would only take longer that way. So far, the living room was clean and so was his room and half of the kitchen.

My current task was scrubbing the bathroom down, so naturally I prepared by suiting up with gloves that went up to my elbow, a mask, eye goggles and a bandana to keep my hair back. Naruto took a picture with his phone, snickering, but I ignored him.

There was no telling what was in there.

It was one of the grossest experiences I will ever remember. I didn't even know his toilets true color, tinged yellow or white? Socks were everywhere on the floor without any explanation as to why, his trash had never been taken out once in that bathroom, his sink had toothpaste all over it. It was disgusting and overall horrifying.

The only thing that made me feel better was beating Naruto with the toilet brush after he teased me from the bathroom door. It almost made drawing the short stick worth it.

After the bathroom incident I decided it was time to do the laundry and soon discovered that not only did most of his wardrobe consist of orange, he hardly had any space for anything. This resulted in me throwing away a lot of clothes that clearly didn't fit him anymore or ones he just never wore. It made me feel almost like I was his mother or something.

We finished at 6:30, both of us stood in Naruto's now clean house hungry and tired. "Where do you want to eat dinner?" I asked, stretching as Naruto laid sprawled out on the floor.

Naruto smiled up at me, "Juogo's!"

"Really?" I said crossing my arms, "You want to go eat at the one place our teacher owns in town on a day when we skipped school? How stupid is that?"

"He's never there on weekdays, at least not in the front he lives in the very back." Naruto explained, "I never see him on a weekday when I go, which is every day."

I sighed, ignoring the feeling in my gut as I replied, "Fine. Let's go."

The walk there was oddly uneventful, but then again it was a Thursday. Nothing ever happens to me on Thursdays, at least nothing _weird_. Then I remembered the knife I found earlier, something in my gut twisted with unease.

I peered over at the innocent blonde to my left as he smiled away in the streets; he's always been different inside of his apartment with looks of hate, unease, and sadness. Did the knife have a connection to that? What about Sai?

I felt myself becoming overwhelmed and pushed the thoughts down in my subconscious, though some sort of displeasure must have showed on my face because in the next second Naruto was zoning in on my face making a concerned look.

"Do you still feel bad? I heal quickly so I don't get sick for very long, sometimes I forget others are different." He said, reaching for my forehead. My stomach flipped and I dodged the hand, grabbing his wrist firmly but gently. There was no reason to be violent if he was just concerned.

"I'm okay." I replied, noticing his cheeks flush making me realize just how close he was to me. His eyes shone with my reflection. My breath slowed slightly as I felt myself leaning in, our noses from making contact, I could feel something with in me shaking with anticipation. I pulled away, releasing his arm. "Let's go Dobe."

"O-Okay!" Naruto said, his cheeks still a light shade of pink as he followed behind me. What the hell is going on, I had completely forgotten about the dream I had till just now but now that I have I can feel myself slipping in demeanor. The whole point of this was to get the Naruto I know back, not have weird feelings for him and crap.

I took a deep breath; there are too many thoughts right now, calm down Sasuke you can figure this out.

Once in Juogo's, a sinking feeling stuck itself in the pit of my stomach while Naruto happily dragged me to a table. I knew we shouldn't have come, I just didn't know why yet.

We managed to make it halfway through the meal before the moment I was hoping wouldn't happen, did. "Hello little brother."

I groaned, damn Itachi. "Go away."

"Why did you skip school? You never skip school." He pressed, suddenly my lazy ass white haired teacher stepped by Itachi's side. I looked over at Naruto who was laughing nervously.

"Iruka was dying with worry, hitting me repeatedly with a spoon until I went out to find you Naruto. Then I happen to run into Itachi on the street, we went to college together and were discussing our lives when I mentioned being Sasuke's teacher and asked why he was late." Kakashi crossed his arms, glaring at us, "How interesting was it to find out that both of our "children" were missing, and friends at that."

"Please Kakashi!" Naruto wined, "Sasuke wasn't feeling well! And I didn't want to leave him alone! Tell Iruka so he won't be that mad!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow, inspecting me while I glared back. I prayed to god a blush didn't crawl on my face against my will, because my mind was still on the…NO…no I won't think about it. Kakashi sighed, uncrossing his arms "Fine, but you can't have any cup ramen for a month and you have to work here every Sunday."

"WHAT!" Naruto exclaimed, pouting to himself. It was kind of cute, no! No! NO! I could feel a blush starting to crawl on my face, and paused eyes wide trying to stop it with my will. But It was too late, Itachi was already giving me a look that told me he had caught on to something.

Oh great.

That was just what I needed.

"What?" I said, glaring once again at Itachi. "It's true, I would rather be with Naruto than stuck in an apartment with you."

Something in his face changed slightly, but like Naruto this change only lasted a second before it was replaced with a smirk. "Let's go." Itachi said, dragging me away as I struggled with him.

It was more than embarrassing.

Voices echoed throughout my head.

Why are you here?

What do you want?

You can never go back.

Fire combs through my lungs and I feel a choke rising in my throat, I was being shaken, the voices intensified.

Screaming and screaming.

Squeezing and squeezing.

"Sasuke." Said a voice I recognized, I opened my eyes slowly to view a concerned Itachi in my wake, swat covered my forehead, everything was a haze.

"Itachi." I choked grasping his arm tightly, in the morning I knew If remembered I would be furious. But in that moment it didn't matter.

Itachi was still my brother.


	8. Chapter 8

******Alright, so i don't know exactly when the next chapter will be posted, though i am aiming for the 16th. I apologize for getting this up late, some bad things have happened recently, so if my writting REALLY starts to suck, or this ending is bad please understand i am just really distracted. On the other hand, it makes me feel better to have updates. Thanks for taking the time to read this story. Oh, that reminds me I DONT OWN NARUTO CHARACTERS! I always forget to say that.**

**Chapter Eight: More Value in Care**

It doesn't matter if we say we don't need anyone, that we can hold our own and hold our heads high with strength and resolve like no other. We all have one thing that we need.

We need someone to care.

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><p>It was beyond humiliating, it was….it was…..I don't know what it was, but I could feel my blood boiling underneath the pores of my skin, itching to be released. Damn Itachi, now even though I have my key he comes around every day now to bother me about seeing a doctor or how I'm doing lately or some crap.<p>

I don't need a doctor; it was just a stupid nightmare that's all not really a big deal.

I wonder what Naruto is doing right now. Probably dropping all the plates Kakashi owns at Juogo's while trying to serve customers food. Technically I can go out of the apartment, but more precisely I can't go to Juogo's because then Kakashi will call Itachi and then Itachi will know I've been out. No matter how much I hate Itachi, he is a fearsome person to cross.

I spent my day cleaning the house instead, doing laundry and scrubbing around the surfaces of various objects. The whole thing was annoying, but what annoyed me more was that I wanted to go see _him_; it was killing me being here by myself with nothing else to do but more homework.

But then again there was always that knife thing to think about…tons of ideas popped in my head that I didn't want to even begin to wrap my head around, but then it also occurred to me that a lot of people keep blades like that around for protection. But not all of those knives had those _stains_ on it. That small detail rushed to my head, it was something I pushed back so that I wouldn't freak out.

Why was there blood on that knife?

I was late.

He was late.

Sasuke Uchiha was late.

I ran down the streets with cars honking in every direction as I speed pass at the risk of being late. There was no way in hell I was going to start modeling after Kakashi! 20 minutes before first period would end I rushed into the room, handing a tarty slip to Kakashi as I passed to go sit in the seat next to Naruto.

Naruto was laughing at me, in complete hysterics until an eraser came flying and smacking him in the head, then it was my turn to laugh silently. What a dork as usual. He turned to me, whispering or at least somewhat whispering. "How was your weekend?"

I rolled my eyes in response and he cracked his smile even wider, "Annoying and boring, as usual."

Naruto's smile faded slightly, replaced with grin. After that we interacted very little but when class was almost over he leaned over and placed a square envelope on my desk that could only contain one thing, an invitation. I sent him a questioning look but was ignored as I picked up the envelope and opened it.

Shikamaru was having a birthday party; it seems a little weird for him to bother with invitations. Then I remembered he had a mother who nags him about those sorts of things. Why would Shikamaru invite me? He doesn't even like me.

I looked over at Naruto for answers once again, and was once again ignored. Maybe the Dobe had something to do with it and doesn't want to admit it. I could feel my mouth stretching into a smile for a brief second before I grimaced and whipped it off with the flick of my wrist as my hand moved across my mouth. Smiling makes me look stupid; I can feel the IQ points falling out of my head every time I do it.

I really wonder about my mental health sometimes.

Eating lunch with Naruto and his friends has become a regular thing now; I don't even bother asking if I can anymore. Gaara no longer glares at me the whole time, and occasionally someone will speak to me or ask me about something. I didn't mind not being totally involved in the conversations, mostly because the topics could get out of hand.

Today the person to randomly ask a question was Kiba, "Hey, you help Naruto with Math right? Can you help me with this one problem? Lazy ass over there doesn't feel like it."

Friends help each other with stuff even if it's annoying right? So becoming close enough to Kiba in order to quiz for info on Naruto would also require becoming friends and helping him even though it's annoying right? Well then I had no choice but to say "yes."

Teaching Kiba was easier than teaching Naruto, but they were similar in a lot of ways. Including the way he howled with delight every time he got something. It wasn't any more annoying and I could feel my tolerance for idiots growing.

Choji seemed to take notice and joined in also; he even shared a chip with me which I guess is something. I really don't like the brand though. Ino and Sakura joined a moment later, swooning over me every chance they got before I finally got fed up and told them to go away, retreating to the next class as fast as humanly possible.

After school I waited for Naruto as usual, weird….that's become "usual"…especially since "usual" used to mean glaring him down from my desk while he said a bunch of stupid crap. However this day was anything but "usual", I realized that when Naruto walked out of the building with all of his friends following behind him. "Hey, everyone is going to hang out, wanna come Sasuke?"

I winced covering my ears at the sheer volume, "What are you doing Dobe? I'm standing right in front of you, idiot…..well…I don't have anything else to do so I'll tag along."

"Yay! LET'S GO!" Naruto screamed running ahead with Kiba nipping at his heals; I walked beside Choji and Shikamaru who may as well be attached at the hip, watching them. I barely noticed Shino and Gaara walking behind me, because they were in a deep discussion about a project coming up. As time went by nothing event full really happened, well….except Kiba sent a car screeching to a halt by running directly in front of it, causing everyone to pause with shock before resuming whatever it was we were doing beforehand. But eventually, we all made it to Naruto's house in one piece, which better still be clean.

And to my surprise, it is.

"What happened to your house?" Quizzed Kiba as everyone entered the living room, taking seats on the couch. Actually, only Shikamaru, Choji, and Shino took the couch while the rest of us sat on the floor around it. There wasn't any room after Choji sat down.

Naruto beamed at Kiba while taking out his cellphone, I completely forgot…."Sasuke and I cleaned it last weekend! Want to see a picture?"

"Don't you dare NARUTO!" I yelled, lunging forward to grab the phone from his hands. He pulled as I made contact and we struggled for the phone while rolling around on the carpeted floor. I managed to tug at just the right moment after pinning Naruto to the floor, and with him screaming beneath me as I sat on his stomach; I took my victory by deleting the photo he took of me.

Naruto pouted up at me, the light shining down from above only heightening the gleam in his eyes as he spoke, "Why did you do that Sasuke?"

Feeling a blush coming on, I hurriedly got off of Naruto and stood up holding his phone out for him to take, "Because, I….it's embarrassing!"

I heard the sound of a phone taking a picture…no wait multiple phones taking pictures. Shikamaru and Kiba were exchanging high fives when I turned to view them. Kiba smirked at me, showing me the picture on his screen. I was my own face blushing back at me from the side, I froze, and Kiba smirked triumphantly, "I've never seen you blush so hard…Sasuke."

Then everyone in the room decided to laugh at me.

Maybe this wasn't the best idea, but on the other hand there is no way I can just run from the situation. So I sat down and sulked while they began shuffling through channels on the TV, talking about random stuff that I didn't care about. But everything was alright, until…

There was a knock at the door. (Most common use of ditching a moment and creating a new situation in a story right?)

Don't tell me Itachi knows where Naruto lives. I hate it when I'm right, the one standing behind the door was none other than Itachi. He walked into the room with a smirk on his face and pointed at me, "Aren't you grounded little brother?"

How annoyed I can be reached its limit, "Will you stop calling me that! Why do you do it anyway?"

"Because lit-tle bro-ther" Itachi smiled, drawing out his words as his finger slowly rested on my forehead, "it annoys you."

Everyone started laughing at me again "Fuck you Itachi!" I grumbled getting off the floor, picking up my backpack and following him out the door, "It's not like you're my parent so leave me the hell alone. When does this "grounding" of mine end anyway?"

Itachi froze for a second before resuming his pace; it was embarrassing to be dragged out of an apartment by your older brother. "Until you go to counseling, just one session is all and if you don't want to go after that than fine, just once."

I let out a sigh, just one boring waste of time session and I could be free from his constant presence. It might be worth it. "Alright fine. I'll go to the stupid session!"

I knew he was smiling even though I couldn't see his face, a bad feeling settled into my stomach as he said "Good."

It was just one simple word, but it was enough to shake me a little. I knew that there was no taking back the agreement I just made, no matter what.

The next day I had an appointment, which was just as boring as I thought it would be. The doctor/counselor went on and on with pointless questions, so natural I gave him pointless answers if I even answered at all. I groaned at the thought of having to do this more than once, and knowing Itachi he would find a way for make me come again.

Itachi's smile made everything worse as he drove me to school, it was just a stupid nightmare I don't see what the big deal is but if it got me out of this hell than sessions with an idiot doctor who draws smiley faces on his notepad isn't such a bad thing.

As he dropped me off at the school entrance, Itachi turned to me and stated, "You are no longer grounded; feel free to pursue your love interests in peace."

I froze, "I don't have any kind of love interest to pursue"

"Whatever you say.", Itachi's smile was creeping me out more than ever now, but it was also annoying to the point where I really just had to complain about it. About two weeks ago, I would have just pounded the Dobe, now he's someone just to talk to.

"I hate him." I fumed to Naruto after school, the others weren't around today. It was just me and Naruto again, eating chips at the kitchen table. "He never knows when to give up."

Naruto was unusually quiet again, and I sensed that maybe I was saying something stupid, I watched him pick up a chip and insert it in his mouth, chewing, "Well….at least he cares for you."

Cares for me? Itachi cares…about me? I could feel myself tensing up at the thought, "It's not something you would understand. Itachi doesn't care about anything but his own affairs. So don't talk about it like you know anything."

Naruto sent me a hurt look and I instantly regretted my words, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean that.

I didn't mean it.

"Yeah you're right. I don't know what it's like for someone to care for me." Naruto said quietly, standing up from the table, slamming his hands down on the wood. "AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO HAVE A BROTHER LIKE YOURS!"

A silence filled the air, all I could hear was Naruto's deep breathing as he calmed down his emotions. Guilt overcame me, and I made eye contact with the wooden table. "I'm sorry." is all I said, before getting up and making my way out of the front door without a goodbye.

There were two questions on my mind as I walked home.

Did I just do something completely stupid? But the more important question was, do I under value what I have?

It's difficult to see who's right.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey! I would just like to say that the next update will be the 21st! Also I hope this chapter is much better, and if i dont make the date I apologize in advance i really try and take it seriously. Well~! be sure to review plz!**

**Chapter Nine: Just a Little Healed**

With every regret in the social sense, there is an inevitable solution, forgive and forget or forget all together. This is how we think of fixing our mistakes, or possibly theirs, when it comes to interactions with people.

If only the world were so simple.

But the heart knows it scars and the mind looks over every detail with heavy thought. So, if that is true, then how are we to fix false words or actions?

An answer, like most, dependent on the individuals involved, but it is an answer to be solved by the individuals themselves and their actions. Of course then again, while it is true that actions speak louder than words, one must never forget that words can be stronger, because while both can do many of the same things only one can save a soul.

* * *

><p>I'm comfortable with hating the world, but one thing I can't handle is hating myself beyond anything or anyone else. But at this moment, walking down route #12, that is all I can think. I hate myself for being stupid. I hate myself for being childish. I hate myself for being stubborn. I hate myself for being selfish. I hate myself for having an ego. I hate my own insecurity. I hate my smile. I hate my teeth. I hate my looks. I hate my height. I hate breathing and smelling and seeing and hearing and knowing.<p>

I hate every little thing and every big thing about me, and it is only for this moment as I walk to school that it becomes clear to me beyond anything else.

And guess what? I hate me for hating myself.

Grimacing with displeasure at the thoughts whirling in my head, I realized the world seems slower today, the leaves swirl around me in slow winds, there is no one else but me walking down the streets but the guiding lights don't realize that and direct as if someone is there waiting for directions. That's what I am. I am a stupid red light in an empty street, glaring bright red with hopes that someone in the distance will see my colors, acknowledge them and respond.

Nothing but a stupid programed machine with tons of hope and no chance, but wait, I do have a chance. What am I saying? Have no chance at what? I have good grades, people love me without me having to love them, and I am respected with a great company to run at the beginning of my adulthood.

Yet somehow, comparing that to this empty street is even more fitting in my head than anything else.

Naruto is absent today.

I'm stuck. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Where do I sit? Where can I eat lunch? Am I still his friend? Was I ever his friend? What do I do?

And what about Naruto? Is he mad at me? Did I get him sick? Wait, I wasn't even really sick, but still what if he is sick anyway? What if what I said yesterday sent him into some kind of depression?

I spaced out the entirety of first period, which was a bad thing considering Kakashi was actually teaching something today because the principle was "sitting in" on everyone's classes today. After first period, I considered skipping. It would be nice to not have to be around Sakura and Ino or have an awkward lunch with Naruto's friends. But then again Itachi was still watching me like a hawk at home that left only one choice for me.

As degrading as it was, I found myself hiding out in the bathroom handicap stall doing random homework and playing around with my phone absent mindedly. Who knows how much time passed as I sat on the stall's floor, on my jacket that I will never wear again? But however much time passed at some point there was a knock at the stall door. I paused completely, feeling an eyebrow raise as I looked over at the stall door. "Occupied."

"Sasuke?" my throat closed up as a blonde head peaked under the stall and looked at me. I watched Naruto climb through the large crack wondering if I was imagining things. Then I decided that, no, I wasn't imagining a thing. Naruto squatted in front of me, a concerned look on his face as he waved his hand in front of my face. "Sasuke?"

"Yeah." I said, finding my voice.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto said looking around the stall, "Its lunch time you know?"

"No I didn't." I replied as I started to pack up my things, "You weren't here I thought?"

"I had to go to a doctor's appointment, stupid check-up crap but Iruka insists." Naruto explained, scratching the back of his head and laughing. Then all of a sudden he stopped, his eyes got wide as he stared at me. "Sasuke…were you in here, because you were worried about me? Shikamaru told me that you skipped all of your classes after first period, and that all through first period you seemed empty headed. I really don't think that guy really sleeps through every class, it would be inhuman. Oh! But wait, I was asking you a question. Were you worried?"

Naruto's face inched a little closer to mine, I could feel a familiar heat rising to my cheeks "I…yeah…."

"Well I'm fine okay." Naruto said smiling at me, "Now come eat lunch with us, everyone is wondering what happened to you."

Naruto began to open the stall, and before I even realized it my hand was clasped around his wrist. Blue saucers stared at me questioningly. They are so beautiful it's indescribable, no matter how hard I try to capture their beauty with words, it's an impossible task. "Naruto. What Iruka does…Itachi does the same. It's annoying but all he does is nag me about my health, and about getting enough sleep or sometimes he'll knock on my door without any warning asking me all kinds of questions about my day and how I'm doing. I swear it's all just to annoy me."

A bitter laugh escaped my lips before I could stop it, but I continued, "All I do is push that away. That concern…..that care…you were right yesterday, and I hate being wrong so…I said something I shouldn't have and I'm sorry. But you were also wrong yesterday..." I searched his eyes, seeing the question gleaming in his irises, hunting for the right words to say, "You have a lot of people who care for you, more than me. Isn't it funny that you're just as blind as I am?"

The moment seemed to pause, as Naruto's eyes bore into mine digging for the meaning behind my words. I watched them flicker with emotion, and slowly I began to see the water building. The way his lip was quivering, and his shoulders started to slowly shake. A whimper escaped his lips, and slowly the tears began to fall. To me, those words seemed like nothing more than words, but I know from my experience yesterday that when someone tells you just what you _need_ to hear, the effect is profound no matter how simple the words used. Naruto clutched me slightly; I remained still because I knew that he was trying to regain his strength. Finally, he looked up at me, smiling with clear white teeth "It's just like you to try and make the last point a right one in an argument, stupid bastard."

"Let's go." I said, lifting myself off the ground, feeling a little stupid, carefully holding my jacket so that it didn't make any direct contact with me. Naruto noticed and laughed, so I through a roll of toilet paper at him and he responded by throwing liquid soap, which by the way got all over my hair.

After stuffing my head under a sink and punching Naruto in the stomach for revenge, we made our way out to the lunch table. Gaara was the first to notice our approach, and pointed out to the others who all smiled instantly at the sight of us, or at least at the sight of Naruto who was waving happily.

"Ah look who it is! Ice Prince has come to join our table again, after being locked in his castle all day due to a lovers spat." Shikamaru announced as I sat down in my place next to Naruto, I wanted to punch Shikamaru now, lovers spat?

"I don't know, do you think tower would fit a little more?" Said Kiba, who was sitting beside him, "Oh, wait towers are for princesses."

"I think princess might fit better with Sasuke." Shikamaru laughed, holding out his phone to Kiba, "Especially with this blush."

"Ohhh…." Kiba mocked, looking at me pointedly, "He just looks so adorable."

"Alright I get it leave me alone." I glared, realizing I didn't even have anything to eat. Apparently I wasn't the only one, because Kiba reached over and placed in front of me water with half of a peanut butter sandwich, some chips, some almonds, and a half of a turkey sandwich.

"Just relax; we are just messing with you." Kiba said, laughing. I looked around and the table, Gaara never eats anything but Shino had a tub of almonds, Choji was munching away on the chips that I got, Shikamaru was eating half a peanut butter sandwich, and Kiba had half of a turkey sandwich in front of him. I slowly realized what had taken place, and looked around the table once more to see smiling faces.

That was the moment I realized I wasn't even aware that I had become a part of something much bigger than myself.

* * *

><p>I can't believe that I admitted that Naruto was right about something, but even more frustrating was the fact that I have lost sight of my goal. The ultimate goal is that I need to fix whatever is up with Naruto; I don't need him to fix me. So today I will defiantly find answers, because there is defiantly something still wrong with him. He still carries that look in his eyes, it's as if he's saying that no matter how many people care for him there is no way they can save him from his nightmares.<p>

Today is Friday and we are shopping around looking for a gift for Shikamaru together, it almost makes me want to go back to those weekends I spent scrubbing away at my sink.

Naruto is embarrassing in public.

I have never wanted to tape his mouth shut so much in my life, especially in that single moment when he yelled his problem with the stores goods while the owner stood right behind the couch glaring at us.

I would have killed him.

After being kicked out of that store, we found ourselves in a little tiny shop that sells foreign goods. We were looking for something in particular here; hunting in a board game section that I didn't even think would exist in this little store. Apparently Shikamaru likes chess? I didn't know that.

"What are we looking for?" I asked Naruto, wondering what we were doing in a foreign shop where they sell all kinds of forging products, obviously, but the point was we were looking for something special and probably something we can't carry since Naruto insisted that we drive. Something I would end up having to pay for, and I really don't like to spend a lot of money unless it benefits me personally.

But a gift for Shikamaru _could_ benefit me personally.

I watched Naruto stomp around, searching through all the different types of game tables for something in particular. Finally a wide smile appeared on his features, letting me know that he had found exactly what he was searching for.

It was a GO board, I really don't know a lot about the game honestly. I've never had much time for games, not since I was around the age of five.

Naruto and I made an agreement to pay half for the new, decked out game board, which had multiple tops and tons of different types of game pieces and give it to Shikamaru as a joined gift. (I really wish I could draw a picture for you guys, I'm having a hard time describing exactly what it looks like? Also this shop is based on a real shop that I visit often….it's a cool place...anyway I have seen and admired the game board I am describing on multiple occasions but ehh…still having trouble)

It was amazing that we managed to finish shopping with Naruto still alive, but regardless of his annoying characteristics, I still invited him to spend the night at my house and go with me to the party tomorrow.

"How many people will be there?" I asked, we were having dinner at my house since the parties location was at Juogo's and I absolutely insisted that I would not eat at the same place multiple times a week. "Just the regular guys or….?"

"Well….everyone will be there." Naruto said, throwing his hands up and smiling will excitement while opening his cup of ramen. I felt like slapping myself in the face.

"Everyone? As in everyone we know or everyone…?" I tried asking, a little confused. Shikamaru doesn't seem to be that social, it doesn't seem like he would be friends with _that_ many people.

"Gaara, me, you, Shikamaru, Ino, Sakura, Ten-Ten, Temari, Shino, Kiba, Neji, Bushy-eyebrows, uh…..people?" Naruto continued with a confused look on his face. Who the hell is bushy-brows, or Ten-Ten? I recognized Neji from the advanced tests I took a year ago. Wait a second….Ino….Sakura…I'm going to die, but I have to go now I bought a gift and Naruto is excited…..

Tons of expressions must have been showing on my face because Naruto paused his eating to stare at me, then suddenly cracked up, "Is the great Sasuke nervous?"

"I'm not nervous DOBE!" I said, bringing my fist down on his head, Naruto let out an "ow" and glared at me, reaching over the table and grabbing my hair. I pushed my hands against his face and he bit down on my finger. I growled reaching down for his cup ramen and throwing it in the direction of the trash can.

I made it in.

We paused simultaneously; Naruto stared at the trash can and then looked over at me with a frown on his face, "You threw away my ramen.", he tried to say with my fingers in his mouth, I took them out setting my hands on the table surface and preparing for a fight.

"I did." I said, to be honest I was just as shocked about what I did as he was but none the less I continued to answer, "You bit my finger."

"YOU THREW AWAY MY RAMEN!" Naruto roared, I sighed shoving my food over for Naruto to eat. He looked down at it, his thinking face on, before calmly digging in.

There was a long pause as I watched him eat, I realized that was kind of creepy though and decided on continuing with his previous comment. "I'm not really that nervous, but I don't want to have girls hanging all over me the entire time or at all really."

"Really? I thought you liked that?" Naruto questioned, finishing my dinner with ease.

"No, why?" I asked, thinking about all the trouble I have gone through in the past to get away from them.

"Because you always used to rub it in my face that you had all the girls in love with you", Naruto answered soberly, I let out an "oh" and an awkward silence filled the room. I really only said those things because I was mad, and I wanted to get at Naruto with something I knew would bother him.

But Naruto being Naruto just wouldn't leave things at that.

"So are you still going to go?" Naruto asked, a little quietly and I wondered if he really wanted me to go or if he was asking to be polite. But then again polite and Naruto don't really go in the same sentence very well.

I groaned, "Fine. May as well."

Naruto perked up, jumping out of the seat he was sitting in to hunt of ramen cups in my pantry, "That's so awesome!"

I stared at him rummaging through everything with a smile plastered on his face, it made him look stupid, it made him look….."Hey Naruto, I've been meaning to ask…I found a knife in one of your dresser drawers. Why is it in there?"

I realized that if this were a horror movie this would be the part where Naruto would lung at me with something sharp he pulled out of nowhere and killed me. But this was reality, and Naruto was still Naruto killer psycho or not I could still take him down with ease.

I mean really? Come on?

Naruto seemed startled for a second before brightening, "Oh yeah! Me and Gaara used that when we were little to prick our fingers and make a blood oath thing! You know what I mean? Kids do that sometimes."

I knew what he was talking about, suppressing the urge to slap myself; I realized that means Naruto has known Gaara for a long time. That would make him closer to Gaara than me; closer to Gaara, the murderous red head with a bad reputation but with grades that out did mine in a heartbeat.

But I was still taller.

"Hey Sasuke.", Naruto said quietly, I looked over at him and a light blush caught his cheeks, he smiled nervously and waved his hand at me, "Never mind."

I hate it when people do that to me, "No, tell me or I'm going to throw away all the ramen I own and stop buying it all together." Naruto looked frightened, Kakashi already had him banned from ramen technically and my house was the only place he could get it at the moment.

"I was just thinking that we could do what me and Gaara did." Naruto said quietly, "it's stupid."

Was he really introducing me to do something that only him and Gaara have done? On the other hand it was really childish, but… "I don't think it's stupid."

I pointed out where the silverware was, and he pulled out a small knife. After a brief argument about who would go first Naruto drew the short stick and had to slice the palm of his hand first. I must have been staring intently, but that light blush was still on his cheeks, and when he cut himself a whimper escaped that for some reason I enjoyed hearing more than anything.

He handed me the knife, staring right back at me, but I just assumed that he was going to watch me cut my hand not say something embarrassing, "Sasuke….are you a sadist?"

I froze, the tip of the knife poised on my hand carefully as I yelled at Naruto "Do you even know what that is Dobe! Stupid…."

"YOUR BLUSHING ITS TRUE?" Naruto exclaimed, I growled with frustration, but then Naruto stopped to whine impatiently, "Hurry up Sasuke! This is really bleeding, I need a Band-Aid."

I dug the knife in my palm, refusing to let out any hint of pain before pressing my palm against Naruto's, it was childish, and maybe even stupid. But….I felt connected….

"You know?" Naruto continued as he bandaged his hand, "You being a sadist really does explain a lot."

"I AM NOT A SADIST!" I yelled, stopping only when I realized that Itachi had probably heard me. "Whatever, let's just go to sleep we can share the bed. Just no touching got it?"

Soon Naruto was sleeping with a completely peaceful face while muttering into his pillow about a pajama party with ramen. I was staring at him wondering what tomorrow would be like, but then I thought about how stupid it was of me to think that the knife was really something horrible. So then what is really going on with Naruto?

Well…I guess it just goes to show that even I can be wrong…right?


	10. Chapter 10:

**Alright well, update will be the 25th. This chapter is very interesting to me, but I had a lot of fun with it. Then next chapter will be more focused on an assortment of things, instead of seemingly random events. I'm looking forward to it ;) especially Sai. Anyway, plz review and let me know what you think. Also, I'm trying to establish more communication with Sasuke and the others, let me know how that's going. I need your help :D, alright shutting up now.**

**READ!**

**Chapter 10: Flipping a Token**

There are two sides to every coin, something we are familiar with, but we often forget that this applies to many aspects of life. However we have never even bothered to consider one concept.

Sometimes there are more than two as well.

* * *

><p>Naruto always has a habit of breaking my rules, especially this one.<p>

I woke up today with his face once again nuzzled in my neck, this time thought I didn't freak out because I have learned that Naruto cuddles with random things in his sleep. Usually his pillow, but since I have the long types of pillows, and he would have to dig it from behind my head, it means he has no pillow to snuggle with.

So now I'm a fucking pillow.

I tried poking him in the side, "Naruto." He hugged me tighter, moaning a little, maybe he's waking up?

I poked him again and he moaned, "No more.", his face flushed, and his legs shifting beneath the sheets. I began to wonder what kind of dream he was having. As if to answer my question, Naruto nuzzled closer to my neck and started sucking on the skin. I froze with shock at first, then a bit of pleasure as he began to suck and kiss harder on my neck. Something lower down….

Wait pleasure? Oh hell no. I snapped out of it and shoved him completely off the bed. "Sasuke!" I heard Naruto groan in pain with his sleepy voice as I stumbled to the bathroom, the next room in the small hallway, "What was that for?"

I couldn't even answer him as I slammed the door shut and examined myself in the mirror. Please god…...please god….there is no god. I wanted to smash my face in on the mirror. There was a hickey covering my neck now even though it didn't seem that _it_ went on for that long.

I leaned against the wall, and covered my face with my hands. What can I do? I can wear a turtle neck? But I don't own any, or make up either of course. "Sasuke." Naruto called through the door, "What's wrong?"

That idiot, if he wasn't so retarded this would have never happened, in all my anger I stood up and swung open the door. Naruto's face turned pink as he examined me, "Is that…a hickey?"

"Yes you idiot!" I said, stepping closer, "I have a hickey and we have to go to a party where tons of people know me, and I have absolutely no way of covering it up!"

To my horror Naruto started to laugh madly, clutching his stomach as tears formed in his eyes, "It's just a hickey, it's not that big of a deal just say some girl you know did it."

"Naruto…" I growled, grabbing his shoulders, leaning my head down till my lips made contact with the small of his neck. Naruto tried to push me away, whining and moaning to my pleasure. I was winning and I _loved_ it. I sank my teeth in to his skin and he yelped in pain shoving me completely off and into the doorframe. Damn, my shoulder.

"S…S…Sa…Sadist!" Naruto stuttered, his face a bright red, one hand covering his neck, "Wha…what was that for?"

"Revenge." I answered, oh this feeling, what was it? Victory? I love it. "Now we both have the same problem, not so easy to laugh not is it?"

Naruto pouted while I forced my brain to think of options, unfortunately there was only one solution I could possibly come up with. Without saying a word I walked out of the apartment and knocked on the neighbors….Itachi's… door while covering my neck with my hand, wondering if he would really be up at 10 in the morning. I….hate…this….so much, but Itachi is in a band, and in his band they wear makeup, so naturally he might be able to help right?

Itachi opened the door with a bright smirk on his face, asshole. "What is it?"

"I….I need…." Shit, I can't say it.

"Does it start with an H or a C?" Itachi asked, leaning into the door frame. I clutched my free fist in anger.

"H." I replied through gritted teeth.

"Do you need help or handling?" Itachi asked again, this guy is so annoying, what the hell is handling even supposed to mean?

"I need help damn it!" I yelled, shaking my fist at him while keeping my hand steady on my neck.

"That wasn't so hard was it Sasuke?" Itachi said, his smirk growing wider. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. Maybe I could kill him and then get what I needed.

"Shut-up. What was the C thing about anyway?" I said, shoving past him with one hand and stepping through the door way.

"Well, if you said C then I was going to ask you if you meant church or counseling, then I would ask you why and your only answer in the end would be help, same thing with handling only a little more talking would be involved." Itachi said matter-of-factly, while shutting the door and following me into the home some, "I just wanted to hear you say it."

I growled, about to open my mouth when someone started pounding on the door, who else but Naruto screaming, "HELP ITATCHI I CANT FIND SASUKE!"

Itachi through me a look before opening the door, standing so that I would be in clear view, "First off, Sasuke is right here. Second, my name is Itachi."

"Sorry" Naruto said quietly as he walked in the house and stood a little ways from me, it was then that it dawned on me that his hickey marks and the bite mark were in full view. I looked over at Itachi who was smirking at me again. Bastard.

"Well Sasuke, I've known you to be strange since you were little, but I never foresaw you being a Sadist." Itachi beamed at me, point to Naruto who blushed significantly while covering his neck.

"Shut-up!" I said, not even bothering to cover up my neck now, "Just help me figure this out!"

One trip to where ever Itachi buys his make-up, bundles of name calling fun, and a hundred mistakes later, the hickey's were covered with make-up. Itachi explained tons of other ways to help with the hickeys, but all of them were too time consuming.

So wearing make-up was our last shot.

The next two hours we rushed to eat and get ready for the party which starts at 1, so that means that of course we were going to be late.

Because Naruto is an idiot.

"Hurry up and get in the car, we're late!" I barked at him, he glared at me shoving the wrapped gift in the trunk, slamming the door shut extra loudly as he slid in the passenger seat.

"Well we wouldn't be running so late if somebody didn't spend so much time in the bathroom taking a shower and cooking breakfast instead of just having cereal." Naruto said, sending me a glare.

I growled back, "Oh shut up, you took just as long in the bathroom, we were out of milk, and you spent even more time getting dressed than I did in the kitchen and shower put together, especially with asking me all different kinds of things about your clothes. Does this look good Sasuke? Do you think Sakura will like my hair? BLAH BLAH BLAH, AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION THERE WAS NO DIFFERENCE IN YOUR CLOTHES! ITS ALL ORANGE! ORANGE! ORANGE NEVER LOOKS GOOD!"

Of course everyone in their fucking cars thinks it's fine to go just a few miles below the speed limit right now, only making me feel ten times more annoyed than usual when Naruto growled right back, "YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COOK ANYTHING! I COULD HAVE HAD SOME FUCKING TOAST AND I WOULD BE ON CLOUD NINE RIGHT NOW! AND ORANGE IS A FUCKING BEAUTIFUL COLOR EMO BOY!"

"OH CLOUD NINE! WHAT A FUCKING ADVANCED WAY OF SAYING HAPPY NARUTO! I'M SO FUCKING SURPRISED. GOD DAMN IT I WILL NOT BE LIKE KAKASHI! MOVE YOUR ASS PEOPLE!" I honked my horn a few times, taking a deep breath and cutting off Naruto before he can say anything, "Orange is a horrible color, and I am not emo."

"Stop talking like I'm stupid I'm not stupid." Naruto said, crossing his arms and leaning back in the seat. I honked my horn again, this is just so frustrating.

"Yeah you're right, you're just an idiot." I replied curtly, there was a silence that filled the area it was the type of silence that happens when everyone is thinking to deeply to speak. I clutched the steering wheel, guilt eating away at the pit of my stomach, only growing when I looked to the side to see Naruto facing the other direction, staring out his window as his shoulders quivered slightly.

I wasn't even mad at him, what did I do?

It's a good thing that Naruto gave me the directions yesterday, a conversation right now doesn't seem like the best thing. I was trapped in one of those hesitating moments when you know you should apologize but the words just won't come out. Ugh, it's so stupid.

We parked along the side of the sidewalk at Shikamaru's house because the driveway was full, I sighed into my seat peeking over at Naruto, he was still looking out the window but his shoulders weren't shaking anymore. Tapping the steering wheel one finger at a time I opened my mouth to say something, but then Naruto got out of the car slamming the door behind him.

Sakura had come out of the house; Naruto greeted her warmly with a fake smile plastered on his face as he pulled her into a hug but she bonked him on the head and called him an idiot. I clutched the steering wheel, gritting my teeth before I got out of the car and focused on getting the gift out. Naruto really likes Sakura, so why is she always so mean? I don't like it.

Sakura approached me, a smile on her face but I ignored her and carried the gift inside.

The moment I walked through the door Ino ambushed me from the living room, throwing her arms around my neck from behind. I couldn't pull away without dropping the gift, so I just kept walking as I dragged her along. I could hear voices in the back of the house.

The house itself was nice enough, two story with a dining room and apparently two living room areas. I walked into living room number two; gifts were stationed on the center coffee table. Kiba, the guy I recognized to be Neji, some chick with her hair tied into buns and that one guy who was nagging Shikamaru about skipping PE awhile back were sitting on one couch. Across the way on another couch sat Choji, Shikamaru, and Hinata. In an arm chair next to that couch sat Shino fiddling with a nicely wrapped present.

"Well look who's here?" Shikamaru said, "It's alright that your late, we are all still trying to figure out what it is we want to do. I was supposed to plan the party, but I didn't see a reason to not let everyone decide randomly."

"Hn." I replied leaning against the wall closest to me, Ino let go and stood beside me; I really don't feel up to forming sentences at the moment. Everyone went back to talking about what we were going to do.

"Let's go to an amusement park!"

"How about we go out to eat?"

"We could go to the movies?"

""Let's go swimming!"

"I really don't care what we do, but I am not going to be stuck in a movie theater watching something stupid." Thank god Neji.

"I think we should just have Shikamaru pick." Ino said, "But he's so boring he would just say to stay here."

All of a sudden I feel like a loser sitting here in a living room listening to arguing over a stupid party, but finally Choji offered another option besides food, "What about Juogo's, Shikamaru likes that?"

"Yeah!" echoed around the room, everyone buzzed with excitement. Shikamaru laughed, "Yeah we were already going to go there, I got a discount from Kakashi because I go there with all of you so much. I just need a way that wasn't troublesome to keep you guys busy until Temari and Gaara could get here with our transportation."

"Oh you're an asshole." Kiba said, but Shikamaru's mom had just walked into the room sending a glare in his direction. "I….I…I'm really sorry Mrs. Nara….please don't call my mother."

"Shikamaru, Temari called and said she was almost here." Mrs. Nara said, crossing her arms and sending Shikamaru a threatening glare, "No drinking, no drugs, no sex, and no cursing."

"Sorry Kiba you have to leave." Shikamaru said, a smile plastered on his face letting us all know he was joking, everyone, well mostly everyone, laughed and Kiba grinned back, shaking his head.

"Shikamaru…." Mrs. Nara said with a warning tone.

"Yeah-Yeah I get it." Shikamaru said, "No sex, drugs or alcohol."

"Cursing?" She further warned,

Shikamaru shrugged and said, "Not making any promises mom, you never really know what's going to happen when this group gets together."

"You are lucky it's your birthday." Mrs. Nara said, shaking a finger at him, "and sharpen your manners, I will have Kakashi spying."

"Yes mom." Shikamaru said, as she exited the room, Shikamaru leaned in toward Choji and said, "Tomorrow is going to be hell for me, but somehow I really don't care. She's so mad."

Just then Naruto entered the room, "Gaara's here come on let's go!"

"Wait, are we taking the gifts? What's going on?" Said Hinata, I could barely here her as everyone began to file out of the house.

"Nah, we'll come back and I'll open them then." Shikamaru said, "Kakashi didn't want our cars everywhere, so he said for us just to rent two vans that seat six each. Temari did that for me, well Gaara to, and now she is on her way to pick us up."

"Oh." Hinata said, following the crowd, I hung back for a while not wanting to mix with the crowd. Naruto is going to avoid me the whole time, and the girls are going to hang all over me. It's so annoying. Why did I even come again?

Oh that's right for Naruto.

"Are you coming Sasuke?" Shikamaru said, I didn't even realize I had spaced out, "Distracted?"

It was a rhetorical question, but I answered with a "Hn.", and followed everyone out of the door way. It's such a long day already.

I ended up in a car with Naruto, just because he want to be with Sakura and Sakura wanted to be with me, then Ino wanted to be with me as well and Choji followed Shikamaru, because Shikamaru's girlfriend was driving. It was actually very irritating to be squished in between the two girls in the very back, with Naruto directly in from of me with Choji on his left and Lee on his right. Naruto glared at me with every glance he made in the back, but it was no problem for him to talk animatedly with Lee. It was slightly pissing me off to be honest. I know I did an asshole thing. I am an asshole, I suck ass. Yeah, I get it! But at the same time I would rather you not pretend like I don't exist while at the same time acknowledge my presence, Naruto.

I wish that I didn't exist because it would have made the whole ride way more pleasant. But instead I do exist, so that means girls get to pull on my arms if they want to. Or force me into doing things I don't want to in general. I was so damn pissed by the time I got out of the vehicle I could swear I was shaking. "Hey, why don't you and Sakura do me a favor Ino, and back off Sasuke for a night? He looks like he's going to explode."

I think that the girls took that in a different way as they giggled madly, rushing ahead of me so that I would no longer be bothered. "Thanks." I mumbled to Shikamaru, Naruto shoved past me talking with Lee about some game, Choji went to go stand with Shikamaru.

Shikamaru's eyebrow lifted, and I had to force myself not to look in Naruto's direction, "Hey, this isn't really any of my business, but are you and Naruto fighting or something? I mean you guys are usually attached at the hip what happened?"

I shook my head, wanting to come up with a good sarcastic answer but failing in my own misery, this is enough. I've had enough. ""I want to go home now."

"Well...you never know how things are going to turn out, especially with this crowd. Just stick around; maybe it'll work out for the best." It was a nice offer, so I didn't bombard him with a rude comment, and just followed the others in the building. Kakashi was there, but he was watching me intently instead of doing that stupid face he does when he is enjoying something of a private joke. Now it looks like I finally know something he doesn't, that I'm screwed.

Kiba also seemed to notice the behavior and tried to show some sort of comfort by buying me a game, it was a stupid fighting game and I heard Naruto say somewhere behind me "I am the best at that game! I even have the highest score!"

I couldn't help it, I had to have some sort of contact even if it was negative, and I've gotten to the point where I can't stand the silence without him, it's pathetic "Then I can defiantly beat it."

"Like hell you can!" Naruto said, stepping up and shoving a token in the slot, he glared at me and I glared right back.

I beat him in the first round, but he took me out the second, we were in our last round throwing insults at each other, "You're cheating asshole!" Naruto said trying to shove my hands away from the controller.

"If anyone is cheating it's you Dobe." I said shoving his hands away as my fingers danced with the controls, my person jumped through the air and landed a kick on Naruto's characters face sending the dumb cartoonish figure into a KO. I won.

But there was a problem; Naruto could have dodged it like he did before. "Why didn't you block?"

"Sasuke." Naruto said quietly, his blue eyes shone brightly in the mist of the colorful lights blaring all around as I looked into them, I felt myself become smaller somehow. In that moment, I just wasn't completely myself as I knew me, I was someone else.

"Yeah." I answered, ignoring the games pleas for more coins, and the chaotic sound of Choji playing ping ball across the way.

"In the car earlier…" Naruto trailed off, scratching the back of his head, but before he could continue, I interrupted him.

"You're a fool." I said my voice surging with sudden confidence, "and I am a rude idiot. We make a good pair right?" Naruto cracked a smile, but I felt out of place admitting that so freely. I will pay him back later with a good smack or something.

"You forgot asshole, you're also that to." Naruto said laughing harder, it was fair to say that I guess, but he's still an idiot.

A few girls from school pointed me out, giggling, I could hear them behind my back, panicking I grabbed Naruto's shoulder and whispered, "Help, the girls, I need to get away."

Naruto looked past my shoulder, I could hear heels clacking, whispers beneath the swarming noises of the machines as people took victories and walked away from loses, "Come on!" I grabbed his wrist and lead him through a small crowd, searching for anyone nearby that we know. Suddenly Kiba's head peaked out from somewhere up ahead he waved us over and I pushed forward; this place was much bigger when you really entered the arcade area.

I let go of Naruto's wrist as we got closer to Kiba who beckoned us into an enclosed room that I had never noticed before, granted I've only ever been in the restaurant area in the front door. In the room, everyone was sitting at a round table playing cards and laughing; Naruto and I were last again.

Apparently this room is specifically for Shikamaru's party, I wouldn't know. I haven't been to a birthday party since I was eight.

Naruto and I took a seat at the end of table, Shikamaru at my side with his girlfriend and Choji sat with Naruto who sat across from me. At least we were talking now, and sadly it was thanks to Kiba. Speaking of Kiba, he was rather enthusiastic howling as he began standing on the end of the table, throwing his arms wide open he said to us all, "Who wants a beer? Liquor? Wine cooler? No Lee put your hands down remember last year."

Wow, they are really going to drink but I have a feeling it's not something they do often. "Oi! Forgetting something?" Shikamaru said beside me, Kiba smirked back reaching into his coat and pulling out a huge box of cigarettes. I'm learning a lot today.

"Sasuke there are rules to this, Shikamaru himself came up with them." Kiba said as he reached into a cooler nearby throwing Ino a wine cooler which she surprisingly caught with ease. "Rule one, no getting drunk unless its New Year's because going home drunk in the middle of the day with mothers like ours would be stupid. Rule two; we don't talk about it outside of this room. Rule three, I don't do drugs. But I do condoms when some of us or desperate, alcohol, and cigarettes on occasion and I only ever get these things for birthdays, holidays, and break-ups. Rule four, you get caught no ratting out anyone. Rule five…..well I don't know, I really don't remember they are written down somewhere at Naruto's house. Anyway you get the point right?"

"Yeah." I replied, it seemed pretty simple and at least the rules made some sense. Still, I never thought that Naruto and his friends did this kind of stuff, even if It is every once in a while. I looked over at Naruto, who surprisingly didn't order anything from Kiba. "You're not getting anything?"

"No, I don't do that." Naruto said shaking his head, "The most I ever drink is a soda or two."

Then I won't be the only guy around not drinking, that's good, "So what are we going to do in here?"

"We could play cards, or we could go back to the arcade. It really doesn't matter." Naruto said smiling widely, "but I really want to play at least one game of cards."

"Fine, but you know you're not going to win any of them right?" I replied, knowing full well that Naruto has the worst luck when it comes to games most of the time.

"Wow, a little harsh Sasuke." Kiba said, standing behind Naruto, "Can't you be a little nicer?"

"It's not his fault; did you know that Sasuke is a sadist?" Naruto said laughing, idiot.

"I AM NOT A SADIST DAMN IT" I replied, pounding the table.

"You're a sadist." Kiba said, nodding his head as if to confirm Naruto's statement, other people around the table did the same, even Gaara. I will kill him but in cards, not with an axe in the conventional methods.

So that's what we did, we played cards, mostly everyone indulged in at least on drink but no more than that, and everything was going just fine again. Until Kiba, who at the time was leaning over watching everyone's cards with interest, tipped his beer bottle a little too much and poured its contents all over the top of Naruto's head, it dripped from his cheeks to his neck and I foresaw the worst.

I mean anyone could guess.

Without thinking, Naruto accepted a few napkins from Choji and proceeded to wipe away at his face….and neck. I had to close my eyes and squeeze my mouth together to keep myself from saying something I shouldn't.

"What! Naruto is that what I think it is!" Ino gasped pointing so that everyone noticed.

"Did someone try to eat you?"

"Was it Sai?"

"Was it even a girl?"

Naruto tried desperately to cover up his neck and deny everyone, blushing like crazy. Gaara spoke up surprisingly enough, "Who was it?"

"I…." Naruto mumbled, looking around the entire table, pausing only to stare at me. "Umm…"

"Well we know one thing it wasn't a girl, otherwise you would be bragging, not covering it up." Shikamaru said, clearly interested, he sent a glance toward me and I stared right back. Don't tell me… he couldn't have.

"Well…it was….I…" It's no good Naruto is beginning to falter.

"I did it." I said, Ino and Sakura let out horrified noises, and all eyes were focused on me, "I did it in my sleep, that's why he thinks I'm a sadist, because I tried to eat him this morning."

"You owe me 10 bucks, Shikamaru. You to Shino and Hinata. Gaara?" Kiba said, smiling wide at Shikamaru who sent me a glance before reaching for his wallet. I bet he already knows the whole damn truth, but more specifically I wondered what they had betted on exactly.

Everyone busted out laughing, and sending teases my way, except Ino and Sakura who were strangely silent on the matter. Naruto sent me a look that said "thank you" but I didn't reply. I just looked away. The rest of the party went by pretty quickly, and before long we were exiting the place. That's when I had the most fun.

On the way out, to have Naruto make it up to me for earlier I satisfied my ego by tripping him. It was the highlight of my entire day.

I beginning to think I really might be a sadist.


	11. Chapter 11: The Real Story

**So, the next chapter will be the 30th! I hope you enjoy this one, I did rush a bit but I hope it's alright.**

***note: If your annoyed by the "these…this…" part its because he was going to say feelings, then feeling but then switched it last minute thought I would let you guys know!**

**Chapter Eleven: The Real Story**

To say that life is a rollercoaster is not so far off the mark, up and down and up again is life. But on a roller coaster, you have the ability to come to a stop and ride again, in life there are no extra tickets.

But on the other hand, life is a series of moments connected by a common purpose, to have value in ourselves, and without these moments we do not know who we are or where we are going. We know nothing without these moments life gives us and it doesn't matter if in the moment you are smiling or you are frowning, all that matters is that it will make up your character won't it?

Call it food for thought or crap in a garbage can, but one cannot deny that our lives are made up of more than a single strand.

* * *

><p>On the way back I got to sit with Naruto. Sakura and Ino fought quietly, if that is even possible, in the back. I don't know what it was about, but I really don't care to be honest, as long as they don't hang all over me. Everyone else in the car was nothing but a blur, their words are nothing I will come to remember, just the feel of looking into the haunting blue eyes that just moments ago were so keen on hating me and smirking into them. The drive back to Shikamaru's house was extraordinarily fast compared to the way to Juogo's and before I knew it we were sitting around Shikamaru's living room again, most munching on cake while Shikamaru chose the gift he was going to open first.<p>

"Come on Shikamaru, I want to go home already this party has been to lame for my tastes." Kiba groaned as he sat on the floor next to me.

"Well then go home." Shikamaru replied, shrugging, "This party thing wasn't my idea to begin with, it was yours. I don't care."

"Whatever, I should have never let you plan it." Kiba said, chuckling slightly, "Just open the gifts."

Shikamaru picked up the smallest present, one from Ino and opened it to reveal…..a scarf? "Uh….Thanks Ino."

I noticed him slip it on Choji lap while Ino smiled away across the room not noticing a thing and smirked, I wouldn't keep it either. Next he opened the gift from me and Naruto. Next to me, Naruto beamed with happiness, excited to see Shikamaru's reaction which I'm sure will be nothing like his reactions to Ino's.

"Why is it so heavy?" Shikamaru complained, dragging it in from of him, tearing away at the paper that it took me an hour and a half to cover it with, his eyes grew wide and his moth gaped slightly, "Is this? Who got me this?"

"I did!" exclaimed Naruto, throwing his arms up and nearly smacking me in the head. He's lucky I can dodge. "Oh, well, and Sasuke to."

"Of course the happy couple", Temari, Shikamaru's girlfriend, teased and everyone laughed. Even if it was all just a joke, it still made me self-conscious, what kind of thing was that to say? We are friends, and nothing more. Right? Something unfamiliar crept within me and squeezed me tightly at that single questioning thought.

I will come to always remember that moment, because that was the moment I really started to question who I really was.

My thoughts haunted me long into the night, while Naruto mumbled loudly on my living room couch about ramen. We somehow silently came to the agreement that he would be spending another night at my house when we got back from the party, I have a feeling he will stay most of Sunday with me to. I was bothered, not by the fact that Naruto was staying with me, but because I didn't _mind _the idea of him being around me all the time.

I feel weaker, having these….this…_closeness_ with him.

You want to know what's even more pathetic, not only did I want him here with me for the moment; I wanted him to _stay_ with me. It's unrealistic, two people aren't meant to be around each other forever, bonded together through fate or whatever twist of words you want to use, it just doesn't happen.

So why am I counting on this bond?

* * *

><p>It smells. Not a bad smell, it's a good smell, like eggs and toast and bacon maybe. I could feel my eyes shooting back, all sleepiness gone as I threw back the comforters and ran towards the kitchen. Naruto is going to burn down my house…apartment! There is no way…..what?<p>

Naruto smiled at me from the stove, nothing was burning, and everything is good. "What are you doing?"

"I got up first this time! So I'm cooking you breakfast like you always do for me!" Naruto said, sliding the eggs effortlessly off the pan and onto a plate that already had bacon and toast on it….I have trouble with eggs even though I cook them almost every day but he seems to be better at it, "There is orange juice in the fridge, can you get it."

Stunned I silently walked toward the cabinet, pulling out two glasses then filling them halfway with orange juice by the time I was finished I could speak again," You can cook?"

"Yeah." Naruto said, "Duh?"

"But…" What how did this all make any sense?

"I never said that I couldn't cut, you just assumed that!" Now that I think about it, when I was spending the night at Naruto's while I was "sick" Naruto could handle cutting the vegetables with ease. "I cook all the time! Well…at least breakfast."

"Then why did you make fun of me when I told you I could cook?" I said, remembering him taunting me a while back in his kitchen.

"Because your Sasuke and you cook. That's funny." I don't see how it would be funny, but oh well. Naruto is Naruto and Naruto is crazy. "Shikamaru called me earlier, he's in trouble with his mom and Kiba has been banned from the house temporarily. I think Shikamaru said that Kiba broke something."

It wasn't surprising, considering all the wonderful moments Kiba had yesterday with Shikamaru's mother. "What are we going to do today then?"

"Hey! I was going to ask you that question!" Naruto said, as we seated ourselves at my small dining table and began eating. "I don't think you want to go to Juogo's again. So how about we go to the mall!"

"The mall?" I replied thinking of all the female hordes, "With the female people swarming around looking to catch a date?"

"Actually most of the girls who look for you hang out at the grocery store nearby for some reason on weekends." Naruto said, cocking his head to one side with a bit of wonder. Sakura popped into my head, but I wouldn't know if all the girls are there or not, Itachi seems to be doing most of my shopping for me these days.

"Fine. But we are buying you some clothes." I replied, Naruto pouted as I thought out loud, "You can get something blue maybe, or black."

All of a sudden Naruto's face brightened, "Wow! Those colors look awesome with orange, LETS GO!"

I wanted to mentally slap myself, but I settled with slapping Naruto lightly on the head.

We finished our meal with Naruto talking enthusiastically and barely making any sense and me pretending to listen or understand. Driving to the mall was alright, no one was really in the way today, but the parking lot was packed forcing me to park at the furthest end of the parking lot.

"I haven't been to the mall in forever!" Naruto said expanding his hands and exclaiming in the middle of the parking lot, "Uhh…hey Sasuke, do you mind if I stop to buy a game?"

"No?" why would I even care?

"What about….some ramen….?" Naruto half mumbled, scratching behind his head. I sighed; I was wondering why he wanted to go to the mall so badly. He must think that this is the only place Kakashi can't withhold his ramen, because he can't drive.

"Fine." I grumbled feeling like his mother, "But after we buy a few things first."

"Alright!" Naruto said, leaping ahead of me, "Come on Sasuke! We don't have all day!"

I flipped him off in response but picked up the pace anyway, once inside Naruto was bouncing excitedly in one spot while we were searching the map for a food court because we are never here. It seems that I really didn't mean it when I said we were going to buy some things first. Naruto was just too excited over eating to put up with shopping.

"Sasuke I think it's that way!" Naruto said, shaking me forward so that my face made contact with the map stand I was looking at.

Rubbing my head and sending a glare in Naruto's direction I looked to where he was pointing. "Dobe, that's the other way out!"

"Nuh-uh." Naruto said, his face falling slightly, "It can't be."

"It is." I said, returning to the map while keeping a close eye on Naruto, he had stopped jumping around with excitement and his face was clearly focused on a threat of some kind.

"Naruto what is it?" I said, all of my attention no longer on the map. He seemingly ignored me for a second before pointing across the way to some weird phone case stand.

"Sai." Naruto said, I could feel my fists clutching tightly, "I'm going to say hi."

Huh? Before I could say anything Naruto took off, I followed yelling as I grabbed Naruto's wrist, "Are you crazy! That guy is a pervert!"

"You must me talking about me." Said a familiar voice, I looked up to glare at a calm Sai.

"Don't worry; I won't touch your woman anymore." Sai said with a fake smile clearly plastered on his face, I glared but remained silent as Naruto interjected.

"I am not a woman Sai!" Naruto said, his fist clutching similar to mine, "Stop calling me that!"

"Very well Dick-Less." Sai replied, the smile never fading away. "I didn't mean to interrupt your date."

"Stop calling me Dick-Less and this isn't a date!" Naruto huffed; I hoped that no heat rose to my cheeks in that moment to betray me.

"But it's your nickname." Sai said, "Friends give each other nicknames."

"Those aren't nicknames!" I replied, "Those are insults!"

"Hmmm….friends give each other advice right? Well then Sasuke your nickname will be Duck-Ass." I froze to the spot as Sai waved at us, "I have to go now."

I called after him, "Why ?"

Sai turned, walking backwards as he walked away, "Because your hair looks like one."

Naruto held me back as I lunged, even though he was laughing like crazy. "Don't laugh, it's not funny my hair is nothing like a ducks ass."

"It kind of is Sasuke." Naruto said, clutching his stomach to laugh harder as I checked my hair in a nearby store window. I will never admit that he was sort of right.

"Well I like my hair so leave me alone." I replied sticking my hands in my pockets and turning in the direction of the food court. Naruto followed behind, his laughter dying down in the excitement of getting to eat ramen.

We arrived to the food court and Naruto pounded ahead to the ramen stand, I hung back listening in as Naruto ordered.

"Wait." I heard the cook say, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you, Kakashi _paid_ me a visit."

"What!" Naruto said, "That stupid old! Ahhh!"

I watched Naruto's lifeless from emerge from the stand and rooting down next to me, I sighed "Do you want me to get it?"

Naruto brightened, bouncing on the balls of his feet, "YEAH!"

The old man might figure it out but…..I walked in the stand, sending a smirk at the young lady working with the old man, she blushed and addressed me. "Yes?"

"I would like a miso order please." I said, being sure to make full eye contact with her, "I would _love_ it if you got it for me."

She blushed another shade of red entirely, hurrying off to get the ramen. Moments later I returned to Naruto who was sitting at a table nearby, the container of on the house ramen in my hands. Naruto bounced excitedly in his seat, not even hesitating to snatch the food from my hands and dig in. And in seconds, an even shorter time then it took for me to get the ramen, he had finished. "Thank you Sasuke."

"You better be thankful, you have no idea what I did to get that." Naruto sent me a questioning look, but I waved it away. Apparently my duck ass hair is attractive.

We didn't really run into anyone we recognized while shopping, and guess what? I got Naruto to buy something without any orange involved, something….yellow.

He's in love with hideous colors.

It's a good thing that I was dropping him off at his home after this, otherwise I would have to beat myself with a hard object to make up for my failure in trying to get Naruto to actually buy something good looking.

That night, alone without Naruto around or Itachi popping in on me, was unlike any other night, but I did not know that there was more to come.

* * *

><p>I woke up the next day sweating, a foreboding entity clinging to my back and squeezing every inch of my unconscious mind. I recognized this feeling and froze with dismay, this feeling, this feeling was….it was….the same.<p>

The same one, from the day my parents died.

Yeah I know so typical right? A guy who has gut feelings when horrid things are going to occur, how like a common action movie of my personal character. I sat up and sighed into the bed; there is no way that anything worse could ever happen then the death of my parents.

However not matter how hard I shook the foreboding entity refused to become unhinged. I knew, there was no question that I knew, just how bad my day was going to be. The rain pouring outside didn't seem to help the matter either. Today was route #11 which gave me some extra time for breakfast, something that might settle this silent battle with my feelings. But no sooner than I had opened the fridge there was a panicked banging on my door.

Who could it be?

Kakashi?

Iruka?

Naruto?

I unfroze myself from thinking and jumped into action, rushing toward the door, my hand grasping the cool metal and twisting to reveal a breathless person who I did not recognize. "He's in the hospital down the street the one with the red symbol."

"Who?" I asked, and then next would come how, but as the man provided an answer I could not speak. My feet jumped into action, rain pounded on my head, feet slid on the wet pavement through the murky waters of newly formed puddles. But I wasn't thinking about any of that, there was only one single thought coursing through my mind.

I can't lose him.

* * *

><p><strong>So who do you guys think him is? Just for fun take a guess.<strong>


	12. Chapter 12: Saying Goodbye

**Alright well, I am really sorry about my updating failure! So here is the new release, and the next one will be 3/6/12. This chapter is a lot shorter than anticipated, but I've been sick recently so forgive me! Also I noticed that even though I edit many works and things like that, I always have at least one error or a few in these chapters of mine that pop up (Cough, late night writing anyone?) so I will fix those sometime. So this chapter was meant to be longer, and the other half of it will become chapter 13: Who is that boy?.**

**In all honesty I think I could have done a better job on this chapter, the next one will be better I hope. **

**Chapter Twelve: Saying Goodbye**

Life isn't fair. This is a saying of truth but it is also a cruelty depending on its use. As people, the desire to be treated fairly is only natural, but the inability to express oneself with the use of this phrase can hurt more than it helps.

It makes a person believe subconsciously that there is no hope in the world, not directly but just underneath the surface of these words.

If that is so, then how can people maintain hope even with this thought? Interactions perhaps?

* * *

><p>I am Sasuke Uchiha.<p>

I hate many things; Naruto, Itachi, Kakashi, sweets, fan girls, waiting in line, being annoyed, being bested, being late and an assortment of other things.

Then there are many things that I am; awesome, confident, collected, intellectual, clean, cool, and independent.

These things are the smallest parts of who I am. But slowly, some of these things have eroded and turned into something else. It was done in plain view but I took no notice.

There are many things I like; Naruto, being annoyed, competing with Naruto and losing just to rematch, even just walking with Naruto, or sticking it to Kakashi, or seeing the bags of groceries Itachi leaves on my doorstep sometimes after ringing my doorbell and disappearing into the wind.

Then there are many things that I am; Empathetic, uncertain, expressive, not always confident, an idiot but smart, still clean, less cool, and _more dependent_.

I am…someone else.

This person that I am, I wonder where he came from? When exactly did he appear? Was it with Naruto or was it within my own thoughts? And the most important question is, now that he is here, just what do I do with him?

Should he stay or should he go?

"Excuse me." Said another man I didn't recognize, another nameless face in my day, "Who are you?"

It flew out of my mouth before I could stop it, "I don't know."

The man shifted on his feet slightly, looking at me with concern, "Uh…do you know your name?"

I snapped out of it, shaking my head and cooling my thoughts at will. I am Sasuke Uchiha. I am in control, "That isn't what I meant, you caught me at a... I am Sasuke Uchiha."

"Ah." The man said, sitting in the chair across from me, "You must be Itachi's brother….about what happened…I'm…"

"Don't apologize!" I interrupted before I could stop it, I took a deep breath closing my eyes and taking control. Why is it so much harder now?

The man fell silent for a bit as I recollected myself before saying, "My name is Kisame. I am the lead singer in Itachi's band."

That explains the weird make-up now that I'm taking the energy to observe his features, but I let it go, taking a deep breath again to control myself. "He never showed me you guys before."

Not that he hadn't tried to show me his band before, I just refused. It was the first time he knocked on my door after I moved out and into the apartment next door.

"_Hello." Itachi had said, "Would you like to go with me to the concert tonight?"_

"_You lost me at hello." I replied "I would like nothing more than to see you dead." _

I winced as I remembered those words, the noise of the door slamming in Itachi's face echoing all around me. Why…why?

A nurse tapped my shoulder gently, "The doctor asked me to inform you that Itachi is still in surgery, is there anyone you would like to call?"

"Don't worry miss, we're all here." Said a familiar voice, it was Kakashi with Naruto trailing behind him sending me worried looks. I looked away, not even bothering to wonder what they were doing here already when school had yet to let out.

"Do any of you know what happened to him?" I asked, my voice was almost unrecognizable, but I realize it was _my _voice the tone I carried sometime before interacting with Naruto. "No one told me."

Kakashi sat in a chair a small distance away, and Naruto sat one chair over on my left. I was grateful for the space. Kakashi seemed to hesitate with the answer, it was unlike him, "I was told that he walked into oncoming traffic."

Why….would Itachi do such a thing? It doesn't make any sense. He was fine, he was absolutely fine. He was….a bottle of water hovered in the corner of my sight. I looked up to see unusually dull blue eyes staring back into mine, clutching the bottle slowly I knew then that somehow Naruto understood. He understood somehow, the feeling of being blindsided.

Something I should know how to handle by now.

"I must admit." Said a quiet voice, it was another band member of Itachi's, the one who came to get me with blonde hair tied back and heavy eyeliner, "He was with me, I own a bar just down the street. Itachi came in at around closing time and for some reason; Itachi just kept drinking and wouldn't stop. I didn't know any numbers to call, so I just kept him in my bar until the morning. It was my fault…he was so drunk….even though I tried to stop him from drinking the stubborn bastard….and I just left him unattended while locking up the place."

The man didn't walk away from me, I don't know if he is expecting me to answer or pleading me to. Either way, it doesn't matter. My mouth won't move at all, and my hands grip at the arms of the chair I am occupying. If Itachi doesn't make it…what am I going to do?

But no one was even giving me a shred of hope on the matter; I could hear their voices chattering away in the background of my thoughts, deciding things as if Itachi was already dead, not still holding on in a room somewhere nearby. Finally the man walked away, I don't know where he went and I don't care. All that matters is what's going to happen to Itachi.

Tick, tick, tick, tick.

The seconds of the clock were ticking away, the room remained silent, no one moved. We waited, but we did not know exactly what we were waiting for. The only ones with the answer, the only ones who could halt this crazy ticking, were the doctors and nurses swarming around.

"Grandma." Naruto said, it was the first real word he's spoken the whole time, I forgot that he was here. "What is it?"

The woman looked young, with light blonde hair and a serious face that could only hold new I didn't want to hear. Naruto and I both rose from our seats, Naruto addressed her, "Granny…?"

The woman closed her eyes, shaking her head lightly. I slid into my seat, gripping my knees, focusing on the clouded tile floor beneath my feet; I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear her say it.

I don't want to hear that he's dead.

Tonight I would be staying with Kakashi and Iruka, my apparent guardians that I was unaware that I had. Kakashi let me go to my apartment to pack a suitcase, tomorrow I would be back to the apartment complex to clean out ….the neighbors place and get my car.

I said goodbye to everything in the apartment, I would no longer have my own space here anymore. The room was dark and emptier then it ever was. What would have happened to me if I had never met Naruto? If I had never learned how important my brother really is…was….and never made any true connections with Kakashi?

I would be as empty as this apartment feels.

"Sasuke." Kakashi said, touching my shoulder lightly, I looked into his eye, as he only had one showing like usual, it was dull and serious. Something I wasn't used to. "Let's go."

I was grateful that the ride to Iruka and Kakashi's house was silent; I didn't know what to say. My thoughts wandered, to anything else but the event of tonight, I focused on the woman doctor. Naruto called her Grandma, were they related. Why did he seem to know her so well?

"We're here." Kakashi said, I snapped out of it, realizing that we had already arrived to our destination. I've only been here once before, but back then everything was more normal. Now this place feels alien. Iruka greeted me inside with a gentle smile I didn't bother to return, he led me to a room down a hallway past the kitchen. We passed by a bathroom and a master bedroom before coming to the end of the hall where _my_ room would be.

"Uh.."Iruka said, as he noticed me looking around the room with its cream colored walls and a white carpet on the floor. A small desk was near the door, a bed in the left corner of the room next to a window, a small TV sat on top of a dresser across the way of the bed. "Tomorrow I and Kakashi will bring your bedroom furniture in here; if you want we can paint the walls."

"Hn." I said, setting my suitcase down and sitting on my bed. Iruka stayed by the door, his hand clutching the knob as he scratched the back of his head.

"Well… let me know if there is anything you need." I didn't answer as he shut the door, leaving me to myself. This is impossible; I'm not supposed to be here. I can't….rage swelled within and I punched the headboard of the bed, slamming repetitively and so hard that I wondered if Kakashi and Iruka were ignoring it out of courtesy.

My knuckles were raw, before I slid into the bed, sinking into the soft pillows of another world. My breath deepened, and before I knew it.

I was asleep.

The next day I woke up to Kakashi sitting at the desk in the room, looking through and organizing items in a first aid kit. Without looking at me he simply said, "You're awake now."

Well duh.

I sat up; he motioned for my hand giving me a look that let me know I wouldn't be refusing him today. He bandaged my knuckles and talked to me, "Iruka is getting some boxes from the attic, after that we will go and clean out the apartments."

I nodded, my mouth feels dry but I don't feel like going to get any water. After a quick breakfast, though I barely ate, we all got in the car with Naruto joining me in the backseat. I don't know why he was here or how he was even connected to anything involving this.

He seemed to be just here.

Walking up to the front door was suffocating, but stepping through the doorway squeezed the breath from my lungs. The furniture seemed abandoned; I was walking through a place that existed only in my dreams now. A place where memories for me will never be created again, and with that came a true feeling of sorrow that pierced the walls of my stoned heart and carved itself into its surface. I made my way past the screaming photos that hung on the walls and into room next to the one I slept in the one night I broke my key.

Itachi's room.

It was plain, with a normal sized bed, his favorite guitars littered one half of the room and sheets of music covered every surface of his dresser. But on his bed there was a small book, a pen lying on its pages. I approached the bed, feeling as if I was entering alien territory that he would kill me for doing, and picked up the book which was not a book but a journal. I flipped to the first page; the small book was recently dated, meaning that he probably had more laying around. I hesitated before reading the first page, but then decided that if he wasn't around to tell me things about himself that was only his fault. If he didn't want me to know, he shouldn't have died.

(sorry guys no dates!)

_Sasuke hates me, but it's alright because he needs it…one day I hope he understands what it means to break free from what everyone else's ideals and become someone who belongs to no one but yourself. My father tried to own me, and my mother tried to push me, but these actions, even carried out with love, were not the best thing. Sasuke was too young to know or understand, this is my fault and I know it, if I had gone with my parents' wishes, we would have never argued and I would have never "ran away"* from home that morning causing our parents to come after me in a rush that resulted in their deaths. I felt like such a child after being informed of what happened, even though I was eighteen, and here I was left to take care of Sasuke. But what was then will never be now, there are not always second chances in life so I will live the dream that I fought so hard for, even with the costs. _

_Sasuke made a new friend recently; it's been awhile since I've seen him smile but I have never seen him blush. If our parents where here, he would have been treated like I was, disgusting and nothing but a shame. But Sasuke will always have me, even if he hates me. _

_No matter what, I will always love my baby brother. _

I couldn't see the words anymore as there was something in my vision fogging up the pages, I could feel my hands shaking and my teeth clenching, my cheeks felt raw and wet. Itachi you are nothing but a liar.

You aren't here now.

I wanted to hurl the journal across the room, scream and break every guitar that was precious to him. But I can't…I won't…Itachi… lives in this book now; this is the only connection I have to him. I became aware only recently that he was something precious to me, something that I always to for granted, and the one who helped me see that was Naruto himself. But I never did anything about it; I never got to make true amends with Itachi.

Did my brother die, thinking that I _hated_ him?

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><p><strong>I am sorry if you are at all offended by Itachi's death, I'm not sure if I would put that as character death or not, just because he already died? (clearly confused!) So...sorry...:**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey! It turns out I'm alot sicker than i thought. Next update will be the 18th, i know thats a big gap compared to my usual, and if i can i will update sooner but i need the time to recover. Also I changed the name of this chapter and it is also somewhat shorter but i hope it is to be enjoyed anyway! Wish me Luck!**

**Chapter 13: The Funeral**

There are many things to life, many parts to be uncovered but what no one ever tells you are that the best answers are answers you uncover from your own heart, no matter what the voices in your world state.

"Sasuke." Whispered Naruto at the door, I looked up only to look away. There is no way that I will be seen like this.

"It's okay." Naruto said, entering the room and approaching me, his face was down casted and straight. A serious look that was misplaced and yet still intriguing with a sense of beauty. But that beauty will not have any effect on me today.

"What do you understand?" I said, remains of teardrops lingered on my cheeks, but with one wipe of my hand the intense anger and pain had faded away into something dull. These words are nothing but spoken, matter-of-fact words that mean nothing.

"The pain of losing someone you always thought would be there." Naruto said simply, he didn't sit on the bed or move, but kept a safe distance so that I could not see his face but _feel_ him. Those blue eyes were peeling away at my surface, and I have to do anything to keep that from happening.

"I thought you lost everyone when you were younger?" Just stay calm down and keep talking, that's what I told myself as I tried to control my breathing. Why am I so out of control these days? I don't remember feeling so helpless before…..

Before.

But before I was still holding on to something wasn't I? I wasn't on my own, not like I always thought I was. No, here and now things are different, thinking about helplessness does nothing. Suck it up.

"I lost my parents. But there was my god father, well he was more like a grandfather to me, or maybe closer to being my dad….if he wasn't so old." Naruto lost himself in thought for a brief second before shaking it off and addressing me again. This time I was looking at him head on, the tears in my eyes receding somewhere else.

There is no use in crying, no purpose.

"Uh….well…"Naruto said, scratching the back of his head, maybe something appeared on my face right then, something that is making him uncomfortable now. "He was murdered..."

Murdered….by who? How recently? So many questions on the tip of my tongue, so many answers on his just reaching out to me as if they want to be spoken but can't. Somehow that thought seems familiar, oh that's right, back when I was just learning about Naruto. Only then I didn't know what I know now.

His eyes.

Those round blue eyes speak more clearly than words, shimmering in the dim light of the room, appropriate to the setting. Those eyes are fresh pain. So such a thing has happened recently, then what does that mean?

No, that's not right I know what it means. What I really mean to say is…..what will become of us now?

"Uh….you know…" Naruto said, taking a slight step towards one of the guitars, looking past it and out the window, "I know how it feels."

Know how what feels? I didn't say anything, but Naruto seemed to hear me anyway as he reached for the blinds, twisting the cord that would reveal the sun around his fingers. As the panels lifted, a new light shed throughout the room.

How inappropriate lighting.

"I know what it feels like, to lose someone you thought would always be there." Naruto said, leaning his head on the window and closing his eyes, hiding from me.

For some reason those words shook me a bit. I have already realized that I depended on Itachi, but….I never realized that in between all those thoughts of loneliness I always expected his presence no matter how small.

Now even the groceries and random visits seem to be nothing but a dream.

To have those feelings, those subconscious thoughts…it was nothing but…."Childish."

"What?" Naruto said, opening his eyes again, trying to peek into my mind and uncover something within me. I looked into his eyes, not fearing his curiosity. I _want_ him to know, I _want_ to tell him.

"It's not childish." Interrupted a voice, me and Naruto peered up to see the same old white hair and blank expression of our teacher, "It's human."

I exchanged glances with Naruto before looking back up at Kakashi again; he motioned for us to come with him. "How about we just clean out the rest of Sasuke's apartment for now, and then come back."

I took the book with me, wondering if there was anything else to be found within its pages.

The rest of the day was pretty tiring; we worked throughout the day until dinner. Lifting furniture, clearing away papers, and putting things in storage for my future use at the end of the day it left me with nothing but a tired body and mind. But it was better than….

Well, on another topic, I did find a small box containing the rest of my brother's journals in one of his storage units. I didn't even know that he had a storage unit. I resolved to read them after the funeral in a day from now. Naruto was joining us more and more now, he even stayed for dinner today.

"This food is boring!" Naruto complained to Iruka who glared him down, not hesitating before promptly whacking him with the salad spoon in his hand. "Ow! Oh come on Iruka, I don't like salad."

"You need to eat your vegetables!" Iruka said sternly, clacking the spoon back into the bowl to emphasize his words.

"But….Then how come Sasuke gets to eat some barbeque!" whined Naruto, pointing a finger at me.

"Because I ate my salad idiot." I pressed, smacking his finger away lightly. Naruto growled at me, glaring at me.

He slammed one hand on the table and yelled, "What if I don't want to! It's not my fault you're a freak! And I am not an idiot, you stupid bastard!"

"Hey, Naruto." I said, leaning in and glaring right back, there is no way he just called me stupid. " You have something all over your face."

Naruto blinked back, a faint blush tinting his cheeks as he wiped his face, "What is it?"

"Never mind, it was just the look of stupidity. You still might want to wipe it off though." Satisfied at the sound of Naruto's horror, I smugly dug into my dinner. What I didn't expect was salad dressing making contact with my face. I looked up to see a smug looking Naruto; before he could blink I reached over to the open dressing and did the same deed he did to me right back.

"Sasuke!" Naruto yelled, reaching for my shirt, but before he could make contact our concentration was broken by the sound of laughter. I had forgotten that they were here. A flash light in my eyes, I looked over to see that Kakashi and Iruka had taken a picture of us with Kakashi's professional looking camera.

"New memory." Kakashi stated simply, setting the camera aside, I glared and Naruto roared but we were both to wary of him to actually try getting the camera back. There was only one way we could do that. I side glanced at Naruto, who happened to do the same. He smirked at me with a nod.

Then we were in agreement. I charged, Naruto doing the same, advancing on Kakashi with determination.

It was a good moment, one of the best I've ever had.

I didn't go to school the next day, Kakashi and Iruka tried to persuade me but I refused. I didn't need their looks of pity. I didn't want it. To walk through the halls, an ice-prince who has lost everything, would be nothing but humiliation. But it would come inevitably.

I decided I would go back to school after the funeral.

For now just hanging out at the house alone was fine enough, granted I had tons of homework to complete but the quiet was nice. It was also focusing.

It allowed me to concentrate on the one thing I didn't want to, Itachi. I tried a few math problems, some history, and then science. But I couldn't even read without him popping in my head. Around lunch time I just decided it would be best to sit on the couch and watch aimless TV for a while, at least the stupid programs would keep my mind focused on them alone.

This thought was only half correct.

I sighed into the couch thinking about all these reasons that I hated Itachi, about his "betrayal" that he never committed towards me. I thought that he had abandoned me, our family with that dream of his. I wonder how successful he was as a guitarist; it must have made him happy.

Happy.

Happy enough to risk being hated by me, abandon our family's wishes, struggle and strive for his dreams in order to seek that happiness. Would running the company of my family really make me so happy? To be honest, I have never admitted it, but I can't imagine myself ever doing that sort of thing. It would be amazing to be so powerful, in control, head of a corporation. But….but I don't ever see myself actually doing that even with all the appeal it carries. Well…what now? If I don't do that than just what am I going to do?

Damn. I hate these thoughts.

The rest of the day was spent trying to correct my thoughts towards the right direction or at least in the direction that I wanted them to be. Kakashi and Iruka didn't bother me about not completing my homework, and I didn't bother to question I already knew why.

The funeral is tomorrow.

I don't understand how someone can do something like this.

To plan a funeral, that requires something I don't seem to have in my possession. I didn't go up to the coffin to look at Itachi, I lingered in the back of the small crowd of Itachi's band, his agent, Kakashi, Iruka, and Naruto who stood closest to me.

I didn't want to see the only person I had left before he was lowered into the earth, disappearing from me forever.

The ceremony went okay, no one bothered me or expected me to do things that I didn't want to do. I prefer it that way. Eventually the crowd cleared a bit as Itachi's coffin was lowered into the ground, but I couldn't walk away, my feet were rooted to the ground. Itachi….no, not now.

Someone to my side handed me a handkerchief quietly, it was Naruto but he didn't say anything or even looked at me. I accepted the handkerchief, looking down at it wondering why he even handed me this, but in that moment, however long the moment was, a single teardrop rolled of the tip of my nose and fell. Oh, that's why.

I hurriedly wiped away the tears, just in time as the ceremony ended and the remaining people started to make their way out of the area. No one approached me, but I could feel eyes lingering on my back until the only one left near me was Naruto.

I turned to walk away but before I could Naruto called after me, "Hey Sasuke, there is something I didn't get to tell you the other day." Naruto said, almost timidly. I paused, listening as Naruto carried on going a hundred miles an hour. " Well...when my godfather died, it was just me, but then there was my Grandma even though she works a lot at the hospital and uh, what I mean to say is, I also know what it feels like to think you have no one left, but that's not true…cause well….I'll be here."

I smirked in his direction; Itachi himself had said it didn't he. Me and Naruto. Without thinking, I leaned into him, feeling an indescribable feeling surge within me as my lips met his. Why is Naruto so indescribable to me? No matter what, Naruto is just so….. I couldn't think anymore as I pushed away, storming toward the direction of where Iruka and Kakashi were waiting for us.

Leaving Naruto behind, with my dead brother being swallowed away by the Earth.


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm a little later than i planned with this chapter but still on date! Plz keep reviewing I love those! Also, pay attention to my title ;) *wink, wink* man, I'll be done with this story soon! But I'm so excited about that! Means more sleep...jk not really i still have my actual books to write! Thank you for reading! **

**Next update: 22nd! **

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen: Don't worry, Have hope<strong>

Everything happens for a reason they say, sometimes that reason is you and sometimes that reason is the reasoning of others but regardless of origin one thing still stands.

What happens, happens. What will happen is something we as people need to think of thoroughly because acting on impulse can bring nothing but grief.

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><p>I kissed him. I can't believe that I kissed him? These thoughts swirled in my head as we drove off, the new family with two guys, one new found son with a tragic pass, and some random kid making a visit who was somehow tragic boy's friend. Oh yeah, and tragic boy just kissed his random friend!<p>

That's great!

Kakashi stared at us openly in his seat, positioning himself so that he could look on with ease. "You're going to get us in trouble with cops if you keep doing that!" Iruka warned, but he didn't push Kakashi into moving any further.

I glared at Kakashi who smiled at me and switched his gaze to Naruto, "Hey Naruto. If you have something you want to ask me, feel free to do so. That goes for you too Sasuke."

""Shut-up" I replied facing the window for the rest of the drive.

What am I going to do, Itachi?

Naruto went home almost as soon as we arrived, and I locked myself in my room after he left. Itachi's journal box was sitting on my tiny desk, taunting me with its secrets, with Itachi himself. The books were dating back to the time Itachi was twelve and said that he was writing in the book on the whims of a "stupid-new teacher" something that sounds more like me. But he must have found some use in it because he never stopped writing.

His latest book, or at least the one I found, was all used up and dated before his death. He had to have started another journal before then because he always buys one the next day. I mean bought one. So where is it?

One of his band members could have it, but why would he give it to them? Why would he walk out into speeding cars like that, regardless of his drunken state? I don't understand, but then again when it comes to Itachi I have trouble understanding him even in small ways.

Tomorrow I can go look for it in the apartment, but it will have to be after school. Everything is cleared out, and the landlord guy is just looking for someone to fill our spaces, but it doesn't mean I can't "break" in.

Because I still have the copy key to Itachi's apartment, it helps to have keys when you don't really know how to pick a lock.

Speaking of school tomorrow is bound to be hell. Everyone is going to be bothering me, and Naruto will avoid me, and his friends will just question me about it. Tomorrow I will have to do things right so no one bothers me later.

It was weird, Iruka offered to drive me to school; Kakashi takes off in the morning to go check on his store. The only reason Kakashi is a teacher at all is so he can bother Iruka all day in person rather than calling him periodically, it was a result of Iruka ignoring his calls.

But there was no choosing a route.

No rabid fan girls.

And some else cooked breakfast for me for the first time in a long time.

When I walked into the school no one was around, the halls were empty and I was very early. I managed to get the rest of my homework done while sitting in Kakashi's classroom. Iruka unlocks his door in the morning apparently, I find it funny how he can nag Kakashi all day and yet still help him.

By the time I finished the homework people were walking in, all of them threw me glances. I hate it when people know, I wish that the teachers would keep their traps shut and mind their own business because nothing is worse than when people you barely or never talk to on a daily basis know everything going on with you.

Death, sickness, tragedy, those things are for me alone to decide who should know and who shouldn't. Teachers are people, and students are people and people gossip and talk about each other and its infuriating to be under their gaze every damn second of the day!

"Your knuckles are white, grabbing that pencil a little too hard aren't you Sasuke?" I looked up to see Shikamaru and Choji taking seats near me. Shikamaru nodded down to my hand, and I unclenched the pencil setting it on my desk with care. Deep breathe, Sasuke. Deep breath. What did Shikamaru care anyway? He's usually setting up his sleeping arrangements by now. "Don't go crazy, otherwise people will really bother you trust me. Also don't worry about Ino and Sakura getting all into your business. I took care of that. Night, see you second period."

Then he was out and I was slightly stunned. Choji didn't say anything to me; he just sat there and ate his chips. I wonder where Kiba and Naruto are. Somewhere around I bet? I braced myself for anything as I heard the door loudly bang open, Kiba's personal announcement of arrival.

"Sasuke?" Kiba said approaching me, slamming two hands on my desk and leaning in. Deep….breath…I don't need people to surround me just because I start going crazy like Shikamaru warned. It would be like the time I got sick only a thousand times worse and I would have a thousand times less patience. "Did Naruto say anything to you? Have you noticed anything?"

"What do you mean?" I swallowed, he didn't tell Kiba, and if he did then Kiba would just say it. But if Kiba doesn't know and he's asking about Naruto anyway then that means Naruto must be acting weirdly right?

"He's acting weirdly." Kiba said, "Just weird, I think something important happened because he seems very distracted and he keeps mumbling your name like I'm not there. Shino found him sitting outside and is bringing him in. You need to talk to him, I don't care when but sometime today, I would ask Gaara but apparently this has to do with you are something."

Kiba took his seat and Shino dragged in a dazed Naruto a moment later. Today is crazy already, my patience won't last.

I thought about how I would deal with Naruto, what I did to him is understandingly driving him nuts. At lunch I can pull him away and talk. This day is just so crazy, I keep saying it but it's true, I can't tell if I'm dreaming or sleeping. By the time lunch came around I decided it didn't matter, I would have to end this so that everything could go back to normal.

Naruto and Gaara were walking down the hall, Gaara seemed to be talking to him and Naruto was barely answering him with "yeah" and "nah" responses. Naruto and Gaara, they have been walking together like that for a long time now. Side by side, friends for a long time, close.

I rushed my pace, grabbing Naruto by the wrist, and yelling some sort of excuse at Gaara who probably already knew everything anyway. "Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, people seem to be saying that to me today. I didn't answer, but shoved my way past students and onto the outside sports fields where no one would bother us.

"Sasuke?" Naruto questioned, I released his hand swallowing deeply. "The kiss…why….?"

"I didn't mean to, it was something I just did because I was upset." I interrupted, this day is hell just like I feared only everything is going quite how I expected, "It was nothing."

Naruto's blue eyes darted around, landing on my face before he opened his mouth to answer, "It was nothing?"

"Yeah." I reinforced, "It wasn't anything at all. That would be weird, gross, and creepy. I mean Kakashi and Iruka are okay but it's still just…not...its gross. I was just experimenting with you; I thought it might make me feel better. I don't know!"

"Creepy…_.gross…EXPERIENTING!_" Naruto said, clutching his fists, "What the fuck Sasuke?"

"Naruto I…'' That's when I felt his fist fly across my jaw and sunk into unconsciousness.

"Sasuke?" called a voice, I began to wonder if that was just the theme for my day, for people to talk to me with that tone saying my name in a questioning matter over and over, "Sasuke?"

I opened my eyes to view Shizune, our school nurse, hovering nearby with an ice pack on my jaw. I hate these beds, they are so uncomfortable and stiff, the pillows itch, and the blanket feels like hell. Oh wait, hell that's where I'm at today. Naruto punched me. He punched me.

"Are you alright? How are you feeling?" Shizune repeated, "Your friends brought you in here because they saw Naruto punching you. He's in the office now talking with the principle."

"I feel like crap." I replied, and it was true. This day is crazy, I feel weird, out of place, strange. People keep staring at me and Naruto…Naruto punched me. That part really hurt, what started out as a crappy day turned into a horrible one in a blink of an eye. Why would he punch me like that? He was the one who freaked out, he's the one who likes girls like Sakura, and I am his friend and I like him. And! And! And! I'm so sick of it!

I _like_ him, as something more than a friend but I don't think that I_ love_ him or anything. Oh well, you can _like_ plenty of other people in your life…right?

"Well Kakashi is taking you home, I'm going to go get him and let him know you are awake.", Said Shizune, who I know feels awkward being around me right now, as she stepped out of the room. I can't "go home" yet. I still have to do what I planned for Itachi before it's too late.

Because in the mists of all the information about Itachi that I know that I have been swimming around in all this time I forgot something vital, Itachi was always secretive. He would never keep his journal where someone could find it, much less anything else of importance.

I remember when I was little, one night I walked in to find Itachi slipping something into the air vent of his room. He thought that I didn't see him, or maybe he didn't care but that wasn't the point. What if that thing he slipped in the air vent was a journal? Then I have to give it a shot.

I checked the halls, scanning for teachers and staff, before dashing out the nearest door and running down the block. People are always talking about how fun running is, how it feels amazing. It's not true.

Running sucks ass.

Especially when you have a few possible broken body parts, but that's not the point, regardless of the complete torture I went through I kept running until I reached the apartments. Just the steps now, I grasped the railing heaving myself up for every step while my legs freaked out.

Running up these steps with Naruto was fun.

I remember that Naruto said I was smiling, it was also the first time Itachi….I can't think about that now, I have to get in the damn house. It's a good think I kept the key in my pocket this whole day. My hands shook somewhat as I slid the key into the lock.

Or tried to.

It won't go in, it's not going in! What? I…I don't. I leaned against the door, sliding down and reaching my feet over the doormat and playing with its outer edges.

Why… did they change the lock?

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><p><strong>You guys may have noticed a radical use of "and" in this chapter, but that was on purpose to create a sort of erratic state of mind within him. Like he was walking around in circles and didn't know where he was going! I actually found it pretty annoying, but I did it anyway. Hope that you guys got the right vibes from that and not the wrong one because it was a rushed chapter, and I did write it inbetween naps. So, eh not so confident! <strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Alright, not much to say except THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY REVIEWS THOSE REALLY MAKE MY DAY SOMETIMES...ALL THE TIME! and the next update will be the 25th or the 26th. My little brother went to the ICU today, i dont really know how that will be but i will still write because at the end of the day, bad or good, its sometimes all i really have. **

**Chapter 15: Planning the Impulse**

_Usually impulse can bring nothing but grief, but there are times in life where it brings nothing but joy. We must be careful not to contradict our intentions and our actions huh?_

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><p>There is no going back.<p>

I leaned against Itachi's front door and sighed, or at least what used to be Itachi's front door. The hard surface was calming and I found myself absentmindedly playing with the doormat we had forgotten and spacing out into somewhere far beyond the railings of the upstairs.

I don't understand why, I don't understand. Why did Itachi do what he_ did_? Even for Itachi it was….crazy…pure…insanity. But then again, I can be called crazy to.

I fall in love with an idiot; I met all these out of the world people, I don't know who my friends are or aren't, I….lose something I didn't know I had and I don't even know _why_.

I can't even begin to understand how I became so immersed in solving what the issues with Naruto were. He was the most annoying person I knew, someone I could have lived my life without ever knowing and gotten through. _Why _would I care about _him_ back then?

It couldn't be that I liked him then to.

Impossible….this doormat is uncomfortable, and weirdly bulgy. I lifted up my lower half and slid out the doormat from underneath me. What the hell is wrong with this doormat? It's so hea…..wait a second, _why_ would a doormat be this heavy?

I flipped the doormat over and noticed something odd about its back, there was a fold. I reached into the hole feeling something smooth and thick. No way, Itachi you were crazier than anyone I have ever known its official. I pulled out the journal, laughing with disbelief. What the hell Itachi, why in the….what?

I sobered up, remembering that my brother's last thoughts were quite possibly within the pages of this journal. I flipped to the last page written on and began to read.

_Things aren't going so well. I owe money to those guys, and they aren't going to wait for that concert tickets to pay off in a week_.

Concert tickets? Was Itachi really doing that well? I don't even know his band's name? Who were_ those guys_?

_There is no real way to get that kind of money, I already skipped rent and cut down on groceries. All of our parent's money was left to Sasuke; I gave my baby brother my share a long time ago as well. It's all for Sasuke, there is no way that I am going to take it away from him. All I can do is go see Deidara and see if I can work out anything with him. I'll do that tomorrow, and then I will invite Sasuke and his "friend" to the concert. Hopefully with my help, my little brother won't mess up and ruin what he's just began. _

Nice, real nice Itachi. I messed up already and you aren't here to help so just whose fault is that? Baby brother, little brother, Sasuke is sufficient you know! I like being called Sasuke…..I guess. And the whole owing money issue, why would you borrow money Itachi?

I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning against the hard surface of the door.

I sank into the darkness of my eyelids.

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><p><strong>BEEP! BEEP, BEEP,BEEP! <strong>Oh crap, I stuffed my hand in my pocket and pulled out my cell, 20 missed calls already and a dying battery, now that just spells trouble. I called back Kakashi, ignoring the soreness in my body as I stood up.

I heard Kakashi start to answer but cut him off, "Hey, I'm at my old apartment my phone is about to die." , and then of course my phone died. Perfect timing Sasuke, perfect timing as usual. Naruto must have punched me pretty hard; I can hardly move my jaw now without a slight pain running up my cheek. I will get him back for that one day…if I get another day with him.

Kakashi showed up in my car a moment later, at first I didn't recognize it because I forgot that I even had a car. Maybe from now on I will drive to school, run over some stupid fan girls and spend the weekends rinsing their remains off the rims.

"Get in the car." Kakashi called, rolling down the window on the passenger side. I walked toward the door, opened the door, and sat in the seat without a word. All the while wondering just how angry Kakashi might be at me.

It seems as if he was borderline pissed, but also somewhat understanding, in a weird Kakashi way.

"Naruto told me everything." Kakashi said, pulling back onto the road, it seemed as if I hadn't heard anything at all. In fact, I was expecting it almost, because Kakashi has a way of finding out everything. "So, you freaked out didn't you?"

"Maybe just a little bit." I replied, leaning on the window. It was cold, the sun was going down, just how long was I sleeping outside.

"Both of you are my responsibility, technically. Itachi left me to you, and Iruka is put in charge of taking care of Naruto while Tsunade is at work at the hospital that she almost never leaves." He said, as rain started to hit the window shield, figures it would rain. "So naturally, I know everything there is to know about you because I am responsible for you."

I didn't reply, where was he going with this? I watched as his hand disappeared into a compartment of the center console and reappeared with a stack of pictures. He tossed them in my lap without saying another word and then focused on driving.

The first picture was me covered in the dressing of Naruto's salad just a few nights go, with Naruto in very much the same state. We looked angry, but we really weren't and you could tell because he wasn't pinning me to the floor and I wasn't punching him in the head.

The next picture was much more revealing; it was me and him walking through the crowd at Shikamaru's birthday party, my hand was clutching Naruto's wrist and I could make out the slight show of a smile on Naruto's features. Then another one of me and Naruto playing the game together, Naruto was looking right at me and my stupid smiling face without paying attention to the game at all.

But the next picture, the next picture was much more….infuriating. It was of me and Naruto…kissing in my bed earlier that day. It was a good memory, but all we did was fight after words. Then another one before that of us sleeping, showing our content with laying together chest to chest.

There were more pictures of what seemed to be fleeting moments in my life, even the one of me wearing all that ridiculous clothing while cleaning Naruto's bathroom. Naruto must have sent it to Kakashi, that jerk.

"How in the word did you get these?" I asked, holding the pictures firmly in my lap and shooting Kakashi my best glare.

"Well, I have my ways. Stalking mostly, but I'm good at that ask Iruka." Kakashi replied, sounding triumphant , "Tell me what you see when you look at Naruto, and tell me what you see when you are looking at him looking at you."

"What?" What the hell was that supposed to mean?

"Look at the one of you playing the game together again; I picked that one specifically for you." Kakashi said, pointing to the pictures as I flipped through before finding the exact one. "Look at him."

I did look at him, he looked happy and peaceful. We had been fighting that day but he seemed perfectly content with gazing at me. I remember that game, because he lost and I wondered why he had suddenly seemed to give up. He didn't give up, he just….

"Naruto likes you, idiot. I can call you that, you earned it." Kakashi said, he was smiling away as we pulled up in the driveway of Iruka, and well I guess_ our_ house. "Talk to him properly."

Then he got out leaving me to sit in a car and wonder how I could have missed something that was plainly right in front of my face. After a firm hour of nagging from Iruka and a sentence of one week's grounding was passed on me by Kakashi, I went to my room and dialed the first person who popped into my head.

"Are you calling about fixing the whole, idiot number two being in love with you, but you being idiot number two fucked everything up without realizing it but now you do problem?" said the drawn out, tired sounding lazy voice on the other end.

"Yeah I guess Shikamaru." I half growled into the phone. I know what I did was stupid, but give a guy a break every once in a while!

"Alright. Temari!" I could hear a female voice nearby, then the faint sound of a light argument; you have got to be kidding me.

Finally the phone was passed on to Temari, "Alright listen to me, Naruto is very pissed so be careful, but all you really need to do is go to Naruto's house and knock on his door. Don't say anything that you said earlier, and tell him how you feel."

"But…what do I do? What do I say?"

"Listen here idiot number two, love can't be planned. It's something you just have to throw yourself into, even if you get hurt.'' Temari said, I could see her sitting on the couch in Shikamaru's living room, swatting away Shikamaru's hands as he absentmindedly poked her in the stomach while laying his head in her lap. Well actually, I could _hear_ it. "Shikamaru! If you do that again I will push you off!"

"Thanks, bye." I sighed into the phone before ending the call with possibly the oddest couple I have ever witnessed, but if I and Naruto could be together like them. I think I would like that. Getting Naruto will be tough but possible, that leaves only one problem.

Was Itachi's death really an accident?


	16. Chapter 16: There will be Blood

******Hey you guys, it been a rough week for me. I know and am sorry for being really late! And i mean really late! But the next one will be march 4th ! I love the review i got, you have no idea how much they mean to me right now and thank you guys. Seriously. That is the highlight of my day sometimes XD Well, i have to go! Enjoy the chapter. **

**Chapter 16: There will be Blood**

_The world is many things, fair and unfair, loving and cold, hard and soft. Its easy to forget that because of the extreme desire we have to organize our lives in ways that make the most sense to us._

_Don't always count on the world to be the way you see it._

* * *

><p>The next day at school was the probably the weirdest day I ever experienced in my life so far.<p>

It all started with Kakashi.

I walked out of my new room, heading for the bathroom, only to bump into my ever loving stalking guardian Kakashi. He smiled down at me with his hands on his hips, I glared daggers at him silently commanding him to move, and we stood that way for a good 10 minutes at least.

"What do you want?" I finally bothered, "Going to give me parental advice about how to pee, or style my hair, or brush my teeth?"

"No, though you could use a little work in the hair department." Kakashi commented, leaning against the frame of my door. "I was going to tell you to stop obsessing over Itachi and live your life, I know you're in mourning but pouring over those journals isn't going to change what happened or solve anything. Use them to find Itachi, I'll do the rest."

"Its way too early for this." I commented, pushing past him and sliding my way into the bathroom.

"I have no choice; you're prone to doing stupid impulsive things!" Kakashi called, through the door I slammed in his face, "Just go to school and focus on fixing your relationship problems like any normal teenage!"

In the mists of scrubbing my teeth and replaying his words over and over again in my head I realized that the annoying perverted bastard was actually right. I, the ever popular former devil ice prince of the hell, feel in love with an annoying little mere demon and then acted like an idiot and screwed everything up so now of course it must be fixed.

I can't believe it but I'm a dumbass.

Later that day, in first period waiting for the arrival of inevitable doom I tried to focus on what it was that I needed to do to make it up with Naruto. Speaking of the devil….mere demon, Naruto decided in the middle of my contemplation to storm in the room, glare at me, and took the farthest seat possible.

So far not so good, but at least the others didn't say much to me. Surprising, especially with Kiba being….Kiba.

In second period I managed to get in a small conversation with Shikamaru, considering that we were the only ones in the classroom. "What did Temari say? Stop thinking about it."

"Well I can't!'' I grumbled, how in the world would I manage to fix something on this scale without a little thinking? It isn't logical, it makes no sense.

"For such an emotionally driven guy you really believe you make decisions based on logic, I didn't know you followed your stereotype so well." Shikamaru commented, "Well, I'm typically known as the lazy smart guy. So do yourself a favor mister genius and listen to me, _don't plan anything_."

Then he resumed his usual routine of sleeping, where will I eat lunch? Back to the bathroom stalls, or maybe Ino and Sakura will get to me before I can run.

Actually it was Shikamaru and Choji of all people to drag me away, with Gaara joining a second later after we sat down at our usual table. "I really don't care much for you, but your stupidity is upsetting Naruto so I'll help." Gaara shoved a brown paper bag in my direction just as Shino and Kiba appeared from opposite directions to take a seat. They didn't comment on the paper bag, instead they started a conversation about some "bitch teacher" pissing Kiba off in second period.

I watched them laughing when Shikamaru made a comment about her width, only to snap back into reality at literally the snap of fingers in my face. I turned to face Gaara, "What?"

"Take the bag…please." Gaara said, scooting the bag closer to me, I grabbed it feeling the weight in my hands slightly, "Use that and don't waste it."

I unrolled the bag, peering in and feeling a smirk molding my lips in expression, "This will work."

"Heads up." Said Shikamaru, everybody stilled with silence and decided to focus on their food instead as Naruto made a rather loud approach stomping his feet, slamming his bag down on the table and plopping down in the seat next to Gaara across the way.

"What are you doing here?" He growled, his blue eyes glaring at me with an intensity I haven't felt since the death of my father.

"He's eating." Gaara stated, Naruto looked around the table and everyone avoided his gaze, Shino abruptly stood up and took off in the direction of the courtyard, probably to go bug hunting. He tends to not like it when there is conflict I noticed.

"So what? You guys are just going to let him eat here?" Naruto said, his voice going down a few octaves, "Fine. Then I'll leave."

He was storming away as soon as he arrived and I wondered if I would really be able to reach him. What if he never listens to me, what if he hears….my love confession and then laughs at me? What if we don't work out and I did an embarrassing thing for nothing but hurt in the end?

Setting my uneasiness aside, this is something I have to do because if I don't then what? I regret it.

Either way, it could become horrible on my end.

I resolved myself to follow Naruto after school then. Until he turns around and punches me or has some kind of contact with me, then…..then what?

I guess I'm just going to have to beat the crap out of him until he listens to me, no wait Sasuke wrong track here that's not the direction you want to go. But I can't just _let_ him beat _me_ up, that's not my style. Either way there will be blood no matter what I do.

For now I let him blow off steam, it wouldn't do any good to chase him down in school and cause a scene that gets both of us in trouble… again.

Afterschool I just decided to use the Kakashi Method; bother the one you are aiming for until they cave in and give you what you want using stalking techniques and personal style. It seems to work for him, so why not me.

That's how I ended up here, stalking Naruto home. He kept looking behind him, but I managed to hide just in time with every turn of his head. There was no way I was going to let Dobe catch me off guard that easily.

We were almost to his front door when he paused suddenly, I braced myself against a nearby wall peeking in between trashcans watching Naruto throw his head in all directions trying to pinpoint where the feeling of piercing eyes was coming from.

"Sasuke?" He called out in a small questioning voice, a few people walked by staring but to me they weren't there, my heart caught in my throat at the sound. I can see why Kakashi does this; it's actually sort of entertaining.

No, I will not be like Kakashi, I refuse.

"Sasuke?" Naruto called again, seeming more confident but it faded from his features suddenly as he sighed continuing his stroll to the door. For being so mad at me, why does he seem so disappointed I'm not there? I resumed my following when suddenly Naruto stopped and said in an even stronger voice, "Sasuke?"

I hesitated for a second, what do I do? "Yeah." I breathed, swallowing some pride as I attempted to choke me.

He turned slowly and I resisted the urge to take a step back. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Following you." I answered, that's pretty obvious actually, "Because…I made a mistake the other day, when I lied to you."

"Lied to me?" Naruto said, he stumbled on his feet slightly, "Why? About the….Did you lie to me about the kiss?"

"Yeah." I said, this is so easy but I can feel my heart pounding in my ears and my breathing slowing down to rhythm that was slow, "I did."

"Yeah, Temari may have mentioned something to ma at lunch, I called her a liar I guess I owe her an apology now." Naruto explained, "So, what now?"

"I don't know." I answered, silently cursing Shikamaru and Temari for leaving me out of the loop and making me a nervous wreck for the absolute wrong reasons. Forgetting all that I pulled Naruto forward pecking him lightly only to feel something sharp prick my lip.

"Oh I bit you!" Naruto said as blood rushed up through the small cut, I wiped at my hand resisting the urge to get revenge as Naruto grabbed my hand and lead me to his home. "Come on, I think I have some stuff from my boxing days with Sakura."

I looked down at my stained fingers, laughing a little at the sight.

See what did I tell you? There was blood.


	17. Chapter 17

**NO SEX! SORRY! I'm not comfortable writing that, that's why I do T and not M XD but hey, just one more chapter after this.**

Chapter 17: The Paper Bag

_Life is not perfection, there will always be hardship. What makes a life happy is not perfection, but the acceptance of life as it is and how it makes you who you are._

In his house everything was slightly dirty, my lack of presence clearly noticeable with the unwashed dishes, vacant ramen cups on the table, and clothing all around from sleepy mornings of getting dressed, and unfolded clean clothes piled around the sides of his couch in the living room.

He was beyond crazy without me huh? Figures; not that I was much better of course.

I reached into my backpack, fiddling with the paper bag Gaara gave me. Naruto watched curiously as he handed me a towel for my lip. I pulled out the bag and dumped out all the bandages, and aid medicine it contained on to the kitchen counter.

"Where did you get all that?" Naruto questioned, looking at me with wonder, I shrugged trying to suppress the grin spreading on my lips. A grin that would turn into a full blown smile if I didn't watch it, it's amazing to go from nervous depression to deliriously happy in less than 20 seconds.

Some would say it's crazy even.

"Where can I put all this?" I asked Naruto opened a drawer closest to me and shoved everything in; I rolled my eyes as I watched him destroy they only untouched evidence of all the work I did when I cleaned his house, "You're so messy."

"Yeah but you love me." Naruto teased, I glared with embarrassment. I'm not used to being called out like that all the time. "I don't know how I could love you though? You're such an asshole, sometimes. At least when you're grumpy, or when the power goes out, and when you have to bake and all the sugar gets all over you. Oh, and then…"

I just let him ramble…for an hour or so about me, some things were bad but he always had something good to say about them. A small part of my brain wondered if the only reason I was letting him go on and on was because I liked to hear him talk about me, the other parts of my brain decided to agree. Selfish bastard couldn't be more right I guess, as Naruto put it.

Naruto spend most of his time examining my other injures, the ones that he caused, and admiring them with pride. Then apologizing only for me to apologize and then both of us kiss for a bit before moving on. I don't want to move to fast, even though I have the urge to shove up against the counter and get it over with, I think that Naruto might protest and it would only turn out badly for us.

Have we admitted our feelings? Yes. Are we still just a bit awkward with the idea of dating each other? Yeah, just a little bit.

It turns out that Naruto had strange I-like-you-but-I-hate-you-at-the-same-time-feelings for me for almost as long as I have known him, and neither of us ever even dreamed of this but it happened anyway and now that we are dating we have no idea how to do it.

None of that makes any sense.

Hardly anything I can think of is making sense, the only thing that makes sense is the sound of Naruto's voice as he goes on and on about random topics of the past, now, his thoughts, everything.

* * *

><p>The next day, I woke up with Naruto's underwear in my face and his foot against my cheek while he snored on the other end of the couch. Checklist: Underwear is clean, check. Naruto is wearing clothes, check. I am wearing clothes, check. We didn't do anything either of us would regret doing so soon, check. Messages on my phone from Kakashi and Iruka check. School day, I really don't know.<p>

Either way I decided to start the day by shoving Naruto off the couch and stretching.

"WHAT THE HELL! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT TO ME YOU SADISTIC BASTARD?" Naruto roared from the floor, I smiled a little at the sound of his complaining. Naruto paused for a second, his face morphing into a pout before whining, "Sasuke…"

I don't like that face, that face makes me do things I wouldn't do normally, "I'm sorry…is it a school day today?"

"I think so, but if it is, schools about to end anyway. Didn't you look at the time while you were checking your phone for messages, even I would do that I wonder who the stupid one is here." I smacked him with his clean underwear and he ran off towards the bathroom, muttering something about "how Ino was right and that face really does work every time."

I will have to kill Ino, and maybe burn Sakura, later. There was something else bugging me at that moment as I opened a message from Kakashi saying, "I know where you are and have convinced Iruka not to kill you using the luck handcuffs ;) , hope you like the gift I left on your face, but when you wake up call me because I took care of those menacing adult ideas in you little teenage head."

Sometimes Kakashi scares me, but I never ever said that.

Not wanting to immediately obey him and call as he instructed, I decided to focus on the outcome of the conversation, roaming Naruto's kitchen for toast and other breakfast items as I did so. There were tons of sticky notes coating the fridge that I never noticed before, they were from Tsunade, saying things like "Might be home later if…." Or, "I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday, but…."

Maybe Naruto isn't messy; I thought as I looked around the kitchen, maybe he's just lonely.

I'm not saying lonely people are messy people, I'm just comparing to how he kept the place clean when we were hanging out, but the second I pulled away he let it all go. I guess because it didn't matter to him anymore.

"What are you doing weirdo?" Naruto questioned, as he emerged showered dressed in clean clothes with a nice scent of Tsunade's shampoo filling the room. I guess he's out of that to, I made a mental not to drag him to the grocery store. "Don't just stare at me, your acting weird. Are you okay?"

He approached me, waving his hand in my face obnoxiously, I grabbed it leaning my head forward, and watching his blue eyes grow wide as my lips approached his, before pulling away and slapping him upside the head. "You're the one who's acting weird."

"Oh! YOU'RE SUCH A TEASE!" Naruto complained again, though his smile was shining through his scowl.

I didn't call Kakashi until I was alone outside of Naruto's house, sitting on the curb. Naruto was running around inside putting up clothes and crap because everyone was coming over later.

"What is it?" I said as soon as I heard Kakashi pick up the phone.

"All the sexual tension making you more impatient than usual Sasuke?" He teased, "I bet the underwear didn't help that huh?"

"I'm not a pervert, now tell me what you were going to tell me already!" I growled, it really didn't help that he brought up the underwear, again.

"Everyone is a pervert, and don't worry I was just getting to that part." Kakashi's tone turned serious, I could feel myself sitting up straighter, my ears perking up to hear the news.

"One of Itachi's band mates has been arrested, for drugging Itachi and pushing him into oncoming traffic." the news hit me like a sledgehammer, but I didn't move an inch. Everything was stilled within me and I felt like Itachi was dying all over again. "Itachi owed money and the band mate of his killed Itachi on the promise of a hefty amount of money from the person who Itachi owed the money to in the first place."

"Uh-huh." Was all I managed to get out, wondering what the hell was wrong with my brother; he could have just…..taken the money from me…something he would never do.

"Are you alright?" Rang the voice of Iruka on the other end, he had apparently stolen the phone from Kakashi's hands to show some compassion that Kakashi is awkward with sometimes.

I swallowed the knot in my throat, "Yep."

"Now you just focus on being a teenager, don't do anything you would regret and don't let Itachi down kid. Be happy like he always wanted, don't waste it." Kakashi said, after the brief moment of silence as the phone changed hands. Itachi wanted me to be happy, that's why he let me do the things I did. That's why when I told him I wanted to move out and get away from him no matter what it took; he let me move next door.

When has he not thought about me?

When did he never think about me?

Without warning a laugh erupted from somewhere within me, I felt my shoulder shake and my hand start making its way to the side of my head. "Sasuke?" Kakashi's voice questioned, but I couldn't reply in the mists of my hard laughter, only worsening when Kakashi further questioned me, "Are you high?"

Those questions tumbling around in my head of Itachi's death had been answered, and I did nothing. Kakashi was a step ahead of me as usual; he probably was able to see everything with a clear picture the moment of Itachi's death or maybe before then. Maybe it was Itachi himself who revealed foul play when they did the autopsy on his body. I was sitting around worrying myself, acting like a fool for something that didn't need me to be fixed.

But I wanted to do something so badly for Itachi, I knew it was all wrong and I wanted to make it better. It makes enough sense doesn't it?

"You okay?" I heard the small voice of Naruto called to me from the doorway, my laughter settling, becoming something deeper and much more sorrowful. Naruto rushed out and held me close without explanation, I leaned against him waiting for the noises to stop and the wheels of hysteria to stop turning in my brain.

Eventually I calmed down, a worried Naruto was silent for the longest time I have ever heard him do so, or not heard him. I decided to console him, "it's okay, and I'm just… stunned."

"Why?" Naruto questioned, visibly brightening a little as he noticed my sudden relaxed tone.

"Itachi, he was murdered." I said shaking my head, Naruto fell quiet again, and the brightness that was appearing dimmed. "Yeah, I don't know. I thought there was something wrong with his death, but I really didn't want there to be anything really. I didn't want to be right but I was, and if I was right I wanted to solve it somehow. Fix it."

"I think that's one of the longest sentences you've ever spoken." Naruto teased me, lightening the mood. "Everyone is going to be here soon! Come on and help me clean!"

Naruto pulled the pouting face again and I glared at the face, a face that I couldn't resist, "Fine."

* * *

><p>"To the new couple!" Kiba roared, raising his cup into the air everyone obliged though not as enthusiastically as him. Shikamaru and Temari were looking particularly proud of themselves as they were sipping on the complimentary drinks Kiba provided for them.<p>

I shook my head in their direction and they both smiled knowingly in reply, assholes.

Sakura was mysteriously absent, something that upset Naruto a bit but everyone assured him that she would get over it and move on, especially with Lee making some leeway on his romantic crusade into Sakura's well-guarded heart.

Ino was there though; she had already found plenty of new people to flirt with, including Sai of all people who she dragged along to the party. I was thankful that she had stopped freely touching me.

I watched everyone sitting around the house, laughing and giving their congratulations to our new relationship. This is a place where I never imagined myself, surrounded with people, enjoying myself and the company of others.

I am a new person.


	18. Chapter 18

**You can hate this ending or you could love it, though i do admit it is short and maybe a bit rushed. But this is how I always wanted to end this; I hope you don't mind my simple story!**

**Some questions you make have:**

**Sasunaru or Narusasu? This is a Sasunaru, but I made the characters more "equal", Naruto isn't super girly, and Sasuke isn't super manly either.**

**Sasuke's personality? In this story I made Sasuke's actions more based on his emotions, because despite his reputation I do think that Sasuke is a very emotional character but I have never read anything that portrays him as such so I wanted to try it out.**

**I don't know ask it if you want to know!**

Chapter Eighteen: Who I am.

On the basis that everyone is a hero it is easy to forget that every hero has an enemy. I thought that everyone around me was my enemy but as it turns out there has only been one enemy in my life.

Myself.

Keeping everyone at a distance, living my life in another world surrounding myself with hate and bitterness to the point where I forget what it's like to feel.

But it was Naruto who pulled me away from that, he tossed me back into the real world with people and chances, risks and real questions of happiness, life. It gave me what I needed; he gave me what I needed, to question myself, to question who I was and then to find myself in the whirl of answers.

I am not going to take over the family business; I have discovered a love of running Kakashi's stupid gaming place Juogo and will now one day inherit it along with a few other Juogo's now opening around the I still refuse to be him. Naruto and I are still together, of course, and grow happier together every day that we aren't killing each other.

Shikamaru and Temari are getting married in the spring; there isn't much of a shocker to that. Sakura did get over the whole me and Naruto thing and is now dating Lee. Everyone else is either in between relationships or getting ready to be in one. I don't really pay that much attention past the major events Naruto sometimes brings up.

Itachi's killer band mate got put behind bars for a good long time, and I still visit his grave as often as I can, reading his journals to remember who he was and why he was. So that now, when I question who I am just as he did, I have an answer.

Who am I? I am Sasuke Uchiha. I am the enemy to some and a fried to others. I am not who I thought I would be but I am happy with who I am becoming. I am not perfect but I don't feel that I have to be. Others dreams are no longer my own. I don't know exactly who I am yet, but I'm getting closer to figuring it out, but most of all…

Most of all…I am not alone.

I have love, friendship, and peace. These are things I want to hold on to, and never let go of because they are a huge part of answering the question, "Who are you?"


End file.
